I am at my last wits end with my marriage!
My wife and I have been arguing more intensely since both of our children have moved out - within the past year.
Firstly - Call her out on reading a book. Find a relationship rescue book which you think is suitable for your particular situation (someone on this board may have a couple of suggestions), buy two copies and read it together.
Other than that, you mention a number of things. The lack of perfume and BO is not related. I never wear perfume, but I smell clean and fresh every day, because I shower every day and I wear a deodorant. How often does your wife shower or wash thoroughly? Does she wear an antiperspirant?
Her behaviour when your family was coming over can be due to a number of things. Perhaps she simply is just lazy and selfish. Or maybe she was harbouring feelings about the planned visit that she didn't know how to communicate? Did you talk about the episode afterwards? What did she say?
As for the hair parting... What can I say... Let her wear her hair the way she prefers it? It seems like a minor detail to me. The fact that she didn't change her hair based on your opinion, does not mean she is doing it to spite you. Perhaps she simply wants it parted to the side.
Do you think our situation has lost hope?
In regards to the lack of intimacy, she says that it's hard to be close to someone that criticizes her.
We have bathed together on rare occasions.
But, what about all the times in between?
"What's wrong with expecting a woman to wear perfume?"
I guess it's that you expect it. Has she ever worn perfume? If not, then why would you expect her to suddenly begin to wear perfume? Do you wear cologne for her?
Many women and men are sensitive to the heavy scents and chemicals in many perfumes, they can trigger migraines ect.
She used to wear when we were dating and first married.
Completely agree with you. A perfume will just mix with the BO. Perhaps it will cover up the problem for a short amount of time, but it doesn't mean she is any cleaner/fresher.
Regular shower/washes and an antiperspirant is the way to go, definitively.
And if he's being hypercritical of her because of other problems in their relationship, no amount of bathing, perfume or changed hairstyles will matter, he'll just find other things to criticize.