Finding Humor and Being a Good Sport

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Registered: 05-31-2010
Finding Humor and Being a Good Sport
5
Wed, 01-05-2011 - 2:18pm

DH bought me a Mardi Gras mask and an apron a couple of weeks ago.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Wed, 01-05-2011 - 2:25pm
>> I really didn’t feel sexy in either ensemble, though DH certainly thought I did. Honestly, I felt rather silly and kept fighting off the giggles. I felt more awkward in the apron, because it was red and white gingham check, and my great-grandma had one just like it.<<

But see, your situation is much different than a lot of folks, because you don't NEED to feel sexy in order to make your husband happy. He isn't asking for any particular feeling from you. If my DH asked me to do this, he'd be mightily upset about my not feeling sexy and having to fight off the giggles. It would not be okay with him if I felt ridiculous wearing something that turned him on. Because by god, if it turns him on, it MUST turn me on too. Or at least that was historically his only definition of success when it comes to a sexual encounter for us. He's getting more relaxed about that recently. The last two nights that he's woken me up, he has gotten very little from me except minimal cooperation, and he hasn't actually complained about it. I'm waiting to see when that comes up. Maybe it won't.

I'm glad you were able to indulge your husbands whim. This sounds better than having to do it in the cold garage!
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Registered: 05-31-2010
Wed, 01-05-2011 - 3:09pm

Avatar for holdingontoit
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Registered: 02-02-2004
Wed, 01-05-2011 - 4:13pm
>>>>> I think for him it is more important that I am willing to do the sometimes silly and ridiculous for him than it is that I get the same "thrill" out of it. <<<<<

The would be the payoff for me as well. That my wife said yes. Her enjoyment would be a bonus, but not required. It would be OK if she thought it were silly, so long as she did not find it humiliating.

On the other hand, if she was too uncomfortable, that would spoil it for me. That was in fact the case the only time Mrs. Hold ever dressed up. Her mother bought her a cat suit to wear for our anniversary. She wore it (Mrs. Hold, not her Mom). I thought she looked great. She was clearly embarrassed. Looking back, I can see she did not want to be thought of as a sex symbol, or objectified (proving it was kinda dumb to marry me). Anyway, after that I never asked her to wear anything special to bed.

I only wish she could "play along" with special requests. Your H is a very lucky man.

When you see it coming, duck!

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Registered: 05-31-2010
Wed, 01-05-2011 - 4:16pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Fri, 01-07-2011 - 9:56am

...that's the curx of it right there...you have a loving, respectful husband...it is easy to love my husband in the way he wants to be loved because he is so respectful, loving, supportive...AND because I suffer no ill effects of sexual trauma/abuse...