If one is naturally not quite as rarin' to go as the other, why does that mean "no" to sex?
Thanks for your suggestions.
While the tips are helpful for others, you're attitude toward your relationship doesn't seem good.
I hate doing that to him but I still turn him down a lot more than he wants and will continue to if I'm not in the mood...I've discovered a little
I as well am a bit confused by some points in your post that seem somewhat contradictory.
How long has this been going on? Were your Libido's always so out of alignment?
If you prefer to be pursued, but reject him more often than not when he DOES pursue you, it sounds to me like HEs the one who really can't win.
It also sounds to me that you're possibly just not attracted to him? You stated that when you ARE in the mood, it's typically for another man?
Please be honest with your husband and admit that you do not find him physically attractive.
When you see it coming, duck!
I love to write and I
Yes, but having sex when you don't enjoy it is different than, say, cleaning the house or doing something else you don't enjoy for your spouse.
I've heard this expressed before and I don't disbelieve it, but I'd be interested in knowing how it's different. Both involve physical exertion with low motivation. Both create a feeling of being loved and appreciated and accepted in the other spouse. And chores can be done by anyone; in a monogamous marriage that's not the case. So if I see any difference, it makes unwanted sex more necessary to maintain a marriage than unwanted chores.
...sex is supposed to be about two people enjoying themselves, not just one.
This is only one possible view of sex. One could also take the view that sex can be about one person enjoying himself or herself in order to keep him or her satisfied and not roaming in search of sex.