Going to call the therapist this week

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Going to call the therapist this week
20
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 11:57am

Well, after what I can only call a weekend from hell, I have come to some conclusions.

The important one is that I am definitely selecting a therapist and calling them this week to get an appt.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 12:18pm

Good luck!

What kind of therapist? The regular relationship kind?

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 12:21pm

Having lived with a therapist for a wife as well as

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 12:22pm
Since there is no sex therapist within an hour's drive, it will be a regular therapist that does relationship stuff. I am going to go alone to start, since DH thinks I am the one with the problem.

I haven't always felt this way, I was wildly into sex with DH at one time. Oddly enough one of the many things that has spoiled it for me is his constant critique and coaching of me and my performance during sex. I've never really done that to him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 12:24pm
Thanks. I was figuring if they didn't make me go to places that are somewhat uncomfortable they wouldn't be doing me any good. I've had LOTS of therapy in the past, I'm looking for something specific this time. I have a few picked out, I'll go from one to the next if I don't feel like progress is happening.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2010
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 12:38pm
mirandarr8 wrote:
Thanks. I was figuring if they didn't make me go to places that are somewhat uncomfortable they wouldn't be doing me any good.

My heart goes out to you and I find you so brave to take matters further into your own hands.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2010
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 12:40pm
...also don't think you have a mismatched libido but rather a mismatched relationship. The libido will correct itself with the right partner. I have to agree with tulips on that one
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 1:34pm
Thanks for you kind thoughts. Yes, thank God for the dogs. I just need that kind of support and love that only a dog can give.

No, the problems in my relationship predate Snowy's death. As a matter of fact, DH was wonderful with Snowy, and very supportive after he passed. He was the one who decided that I needed to get Roo. I was horribly depressed (this sounds so stupid, depressed at a serious level over a dog, but there it is) for months after Snowy died. DH noticed my laughter and engagement with a Basenji in a pet store, and we came straight home to search the net for a Basenji puppy for me. He had said we would not get another dog, but he could see I needed it, and the joy it brought me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2002
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 2:18pm

Miranda,

Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. Benjamin Franklin
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 2:21pm
LOL, you left out my good friend Jimmy Beam!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2002
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 2:29pm

No he's not allowed in my group. He gives me a headache !!!

Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. Benjamin Franklin

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