have had it!! having an affair

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2007
have had it!! having an affair
Thu, 06-03-2010 - 8:17pm

Well the sex was shortlived. Back to no sex. I mean nothing. So I e-mail an old girlfriend from college. Guess her marriage didn't turn out to well either. So now we are having a long distance emotional affair and plan to see each other at the end of the month. I guess this is how most mis matched couples end up. I thought i had beat it but the LL won in the end.




iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Thu, 06-03-2010 - 9:21pm

Yeah, it's that rubber band thing. Sometimes it just can't/won't stay stretched. Sorry to hear about your troubles. Have you asked your wife why the faucet has been turned off? (Sorry about the mixed metaphors.) What's your own best guess?


Edited 6/3/2010 11:36 pm ET by freelancemomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Thu, 06-03-2010 - 9:49pm
...geez Italy, sorry to hear this...what are your plans for your marriage?..or, have you thought that far ahead...?...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2009
Thu, 06-03-2010 - 10:45pm

Oh my! This is one of my big fears.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Fri, 06-04-2010 - 2:16am


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2008
Fri, 06-04-2010 - 6:06am

I am really sorry to hear that. It sounded like things were going okay for a while there, so I hoped your mismatch was being managed.

I don't want to say anything in regards to your decision, as you of course have to do whatever is right for you, but I really do hope you come back here to talk a bit more about what happened and how you have attempted to resolve the situation again.

Whatever happens, I really hope you find what is needed for your happiness.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Fri, 06-04-2010 - 6:46am

I hope you find that special magic in your soul that has been missing or forgotten. I feel your pain, congratulations on meeting someone for that twice in a lifetime event that so few people get the opportunity to receive. Lack of intimacy can be destructive, don't let it destroy you.

Good Luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Fri, 06-04-2010 - 8:02am

Sorry to hear the old ways came back especially after so much time and effort that was put into trying and therapy.

You have to do what you have to do, life is too short not to live it and enjoy your life.

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Fri, 06-04-2010 - 9:57am
So sorry to hear about things with your wife.

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Fri, 06-04-2010 - 11:36am

Well, I hope you keep Mrs. italybiker in the loop as far as where you are going at the end of the month. Don't lie and sneak around behind her back. If you are honest with her, she can take whatever action she feels is appropriate, whether it's looking the other way--old-school-marriage style!--or making other arrangements.

IMO it's much more honorable to end a relationship before stepping outside that relationship for sex..unless your wife is OK with an open marriage. Maybe she will be. Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2007
Fri, 06-04-2010 - 11:59am

Oh that's awful....things were looking up too! I know I wasn't the only one thinking "Hey, if he can make it work..."