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|Sun, 12-05-2010 - 8:49pm|
Hi everyone, I'm new to the board. I have an issue that has cropped up with my boyfriend. We have been together for almost a year now, and we have been living together for almost two months. I was hesitant about moving in so early in our relationship, but we are very committed to each other and would like to get married some day. He is the most amazing person I have ever met, and we seem to be really perfect for each other. BUT...since I have moved in, things have gone pretty stale. I do not initiate well, and even when I think I am initiating, apparently he doesn't get the picture because it never works, so I have since stopped trying. I would prefer to have sex at least a few times a week, even though he usually only initiates about once a week. When we go more than a week, I start getting insecure and feeling neglected and upset. I really, really want to be with him, but feeling physically attractive to my partner is a really big deal to me. I don't feel like I should have to go to any great lengths to get my own partner to be attracted to me...if I believed that then I would have been out in the bars in heels and mini skirts flirting it up with the rest of the girls. That has never been my style, and I feel like if someone is truly attracted to me then it shouldn't have anything to do with whether I pretty myself up or wear lingerie or anything like that. He wasn't attracted to me initially because of those things, so I guess I'm just saying please don't suggest that as a course of action because it will fall on deaf ears.
Today I have been upset about this, and I have told him why I am upset. All he says it that he IS attracted to me, and that he's sorry that he has made me feel that he is not. And I just look at him and say, well, that's nice of you to SAY that, but those words mean absolutely nothing to me aside from the fact that he doesn't seem to realize that I'm not getting my needs met.