HL Depression and Resignation
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|Wed, 05-12-2010 - 11:00am|
My feelings are so crappy right now I don't even know where to start.
LL DH is so confusing to me as he is such a loving person in every other aspect of our marriage, and yet it has been a month since we've had sex. I know for some of you, that isn't a long time, but lets face it...a month between sexual activity just depresses me.
By nature I am a happy, optimistic person. I enjoy laughing, teasing, telling jokes and try to find the bright side of most every thing.
But now...sometimes I just don't know who I am anymore. What happened to the woman who was sexually confident, enjoyed dressing up, putting on makeup and going out for a drink? Who is this person that doesn't care if she showers or not and wears grubby clothes all day long? Who is this person who has become quiet and emotionally detached? Where's the woman who loved lingerie and high heels? Now it's t-shirts and comfy socks cause who gives a damn anyway?
I was planning on doing some shopping today as we have a couple of bridal showers and weddings coming up and honestly (I know this is a cliche') but I have nothing to wear. Over the years, I've just stopped buying anything other than jeans and comfy shoes cause where do you wear skirts and suits when you just stay home?
And I woke up this morning just not feeling like it. What's the point?
How does a woman who is sexually charged wind up with a man who has little interest in sex? WTF. I just don't get it.
After 5 years, now I no longer find HIM sexually attractive. I mean really...whats to get excited about? 5 minutes of sex a couple times a month and that's if I'm lucky? Bo-Ring.
Sometimes (like today) I'm just resigned and kinda down. Other days I want to scream at him and tell him to read a book, get counseling, watch some porn, learn how to turn me on for crying out loud you are turning me into a crazy woman!
Grr...aren't you guys lucky you get to be at the end of my vent?
Thanks for listening (reading) all.