I've become ANGRY

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
I've become ANGRY
11
Sun, 04-17-2011 - 6:05pm

Ok, its been about 2 months since me and my b/f have had sex...and I noticed a couple times in the last couple of months that the only time...he tends to show any friskiness...is when my hands are completely FULL...it happened 2 times in the last 2 months...well, today was the third and I SNAPPED at him.

Missy

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Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 04-17-2011 - 8:26pm

This sounds like passive aggressive behavior.

chaika

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Mon, 04-18-2011 - 2:06pm

Sorry, Missy, but you're not being fair to your boyfriend. He was honest enough to tell you how he felt about sex four years ago and you're just not willing to accept it. You post here every few months expressing frustration and anger that he isn't delivering the goods. I understand the need to vent, but spending years of your life in this state of emotional limbo can't be good for you. It can't be fun for him, either. It's time to work on acceptance or on an exit plan. It's really as simple as that.

Freelance

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Tue, 04-19-2011 - 7:54am

Thank you for the reply.

Missy
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Tue, 04-19-2011 - 8:00am

I have been really fair with my boyfriend.

Missy
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Tue, 04-19-2011 - 9:07am

...I think, but I am not certain...FLM can correct me if I am wrong...that she meant unfair in the sense that he told you up front about his libido...before he moved in, if I am not mistaken...and, yet, it seems through your words, as though you expected something different after he moved in...I'm sure, if you stop and think about it...you can imagine that he feels like a failure and it does seem that you've given some thought to the concept that maybe he's

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Tue, 04-19-2011 - 9:15am

<>

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Tue, 04-19-2011 - 9:32am
>>>>> To just move on is not as easy as it sounds... <<<<<

We are not saying it is quick or easy or painless. We are saying it is worth going through the pain to get to the other side. To where you can have a relationship with a man who DOES meet your sexual needs. Only you can decide which alternative is better for you (i) continuing to endure the pain of a mismatched sexual relationship to avoid the pain of breaking up or (ii) going through a painful breakup so you can have a relationship that does not cause you pain.

>>>>> he wants to continue to stay and work on things... <<<<<

Well of course he wants you to stay. The relationship workd for HIM. You are meeting all his needs. Yes, you complain from time to time about the sex problems. But to him that is a minor annoyance and he knows he can just say a few words and wait you out and eventually you will stop bothering him. I hope you aren't waiting for him to "admit" it is never going to get better so that you can leave with a clear conscience. Why would he ever do that? He likes things the way they are.

When you see it coming, duck!

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Tue, 04-19-2011 - 12:37pm

Hi Missy:

chaika

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Tue, 04-19-2011 - 2:35pm

I was only trying to understand the touching part and the thought process if anyone else has ever acted like that or been in a similar situation.

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Tue, 04-19-2011 - 7:25pm

I agree with freelance and holding...the general consensus...is I need to end it.

Its just not easy...but seems necessary.

This is not working.

Missy

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