Just for fun, interested to get your guesses

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007
Just for fun, interested to get your guesses
166
Fri, 12-03-2010 - 9:17am

Ok, I know this is bad but thought I would throw it out there. I have booked a weekend away for my wife and I coming up very soon. We will be gone for two nights, in a remote location without kids. So, that is 48 hours alone time for the wife and I. She is VERY low libido, as some of you might remember from me although I have not posted here all that much. So, my question is, how many times do you think we will have sex during our time together?

When I say sex, I mean any sexual activity but I need to clarify that for us, we do the same things every time-kissing, me touching her, possibly me giving her oral-she never gives to me, and then intercourse. We don't just have mutual masturbation, we will switch positions every blue moon but 90% of the time it is missonary only. We average having sex no more than 1x a week but quite often will go a couple weeks without, depending on how tired she is, if she has the sniffles, or of course if Flo is in town. Right now it has been over two week for us and Flo is due any day so it will stretch likely to three weeks.

I will also throw this out there, the last time we went away, which was for only one night, we had sex three times in less than 24 hours. She actually gave me oral once as well. She has been known to get more in the mood when I take her away from home, I just have not had the money to do so often. SO, I thow that out there because there does seem to be a track record of positive results when she is away from home. For this trip, I have made all the arrangements from booking the cabin to arranging child care. All she had to do is agree to go with me, which I add she reluctantly did because it is so close to the holidays.

Now,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2010
Fri, 12-03-2010 - 9:33am

Back in the summer, we took a 4 day weekend just us, no kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Fri, 12-03-2010 - 9:38am

...well, how many times does she suppose the two of you will have sex?...you've asked her, right?...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Fri, 12-03-2010 - 9:58am
>>...well, how many times does she suppose the two of you will have sex?...you've asked her, right?...<<

If he asks her, it will feel like pressure to her (I am positive about this.) So it will not help his chances. I think they will have it at least 2x.

However, the more important question is this....if they know that she "feels closer" to him and wants sex more if they go "away" then why aren't they moving heaven and earth to go "away" more often? This is my case as well, so I need to look at that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007
Fri, 12-03-2010 - 10:00am
No way, I am not going ask her because as I said, I don't want there to be ANY pressure. She does not repond well to pressure. SO, even though I expect that she does have a thought that yeah, he will want sex, I don't want that to be entering her mind for this trip. I want to make it more focused on just getting away, spending time together and enjoying not being parents for a few days-something that has really been taxing on us this year with a daughter almost to reach teenager.

You have to remember, this is a woman that has told me anytime we talk about sex in our marriage, sex is NOT a priority for me. So, again, I book these trips thinking about sex but not having high expectations. The last time we went away for one night, she more than met my expectations but I don't expect much when we go away. Still, I know that when she gets away from home she tends to loosen up and stop thinking about everything else.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Fri, 12-03-2010 - 10:05am

...Miranda, I don't understand adults not talking about their sex lives...I really don't...I think that if one can't talk about it, one shouldn't have it period...not mature enough...at leat that's what I tell my 20 year old...if one isn't mature enough to discuss sex, birth control, and consequences before having sex, one isn't mature enough to have it...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007
Fri, 12-03-2010 - 10:06am
You are 100% correct about the pressure. She will already be feeling pressure enough because she knows I will have some expectations-as I have a higher sex drive than her. So, I don't need to cause even more pressure by talking about it. Maybe Z doesn't get that but for a LL wife, that has always been LL, you have to really walk a fine line.

As for why don't we get away more often, money is one issue and kids activities are another. Both kids have weekend activities all the time and that matters to both of us. Also, our babysitters are getting older (grandparents) and asking them to watch the kids is sometimes a big deal. We can't overuse that luxury if you can understand that. Still, a couple times a year is now my goal since both us are working full time again. We can afford that. There is no doubt that her track record has always been good when getting away from home-just hope it continues.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Fri, 12-03-2010 - 10:11am
>>...Miranda, I don't understand adults not talking about their sex lives...I really don't...I think that if one can't talk about it, one shouldn't have it period...not mature enough...at leat that's what I tell my 20 year old...if one isn't mature enough to discuss sex, birth control, and consequences before having sex, one isn't mature enough to have it...<<

I know you don't understand, but sometimes the relationship dynamic develops in a way that makes every conversation about a subject feel like a criticism. It sucks, but it is what it is.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Fri, 12-03-2010 - 10:12am
I do understand. I feel like you ought to be shooting for 4x a year minimum, but I know how it is with kids. Hell, our kids are gone, and we don't even hit 2x a year, even though we need about 6x.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Fri, 12-03-2010 - 10:23am

...I am an LL wife who has been way more LL than I am right now...I was married to a man that I was not attracted to, which turned out to be my biggest problem...I think that if you're going to stay in this relationship beyond raising children you'll have to address your sexual needs and she'll have to acknowledge them or the two of you will do this dance for the rest of your lives...and, maybe that's ok...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007
Fri, 12-03-2010 - 10:28am
My wife must be not be mature enough then, she has NEVER wanted to talk about our sex life, dispite me trying over the years-explaining to her how important it is to me, it is how I feel the connection/love. She just doesn't understand that. She gets easily embarrassed when the topic comes up and usually says very little about it. She has told me sorry but sex is just not a priority for me when we talk about it. That is pretty much all she says.

But, Z, you need to know, not everyone can be the same as you. I really don't get a lot of things in marriage or life in general. There are a LOT of women I feel sure that are exactly like my wife-I know most every married friend I have also have a wife very similar to mine.

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