The Libid0 Cliff

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005
The Libid0 Cliff
5
Thu, 11-15-2012 - 1:12pm

I can't believe I had to use a zero instead of an o to get past the profanity filter...really??? So having figured out THAT bit of riculousness, here is the original post:...

We've all been hearing a lot about the fiscal cliff recently. One of the phrases that comes up repeatedly is "kicking the can down the road" - essentially doing just enough to keep the problem from coming to a head (generally it involves printing more money, regardless of what they call it...debt ceiling...blah blah blah fiscal armegeddon...blah blah blah...interim solution, more debt, everyone go back to what you were doing).  Seems what is happening is that two diammetrically opposed forces get to the brink, only to come up with an agreement that does nothing more than prevent mutual annihilation in the short term.

It occurs to me that this is exactly what happens in an ML relationship...the HL becomes increasingly agitated during dry periods. This is palpable and felt as pressure by the LL. The pressure continues to build as days pass. The details of both sides'arguments and concerns have been discussed ad infinitum on these boards. No conversation about the problem happens because neither side expects it to produce results - all the while both parties are wondering whether it is worthwhile to continue the relationship with the background knowledge that demanding a permanent solution could bring about the end of the relationship. Rather than face this unknown, however, the LL decides to "give in". The HL is generally powerless to refuse and the consummation thus releases the pressure on both sides - thus the short term cliff is avoided, the can being kicked down the road for a few more days or weeks, with absolutely no solution in place but with both sides happy to be rid of the pressure for a short while. As with fiscal cliffs, however, a little more debt is heaped onto the pile, making the ultimate day of reckoning that much more fearful, and the spiral continues.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005
Thu, 11-15-2012 - 1:28pm

Wow - kinda silly when you do a whole post and it won't pass the profanity filter because you use the word "libid0" (0 instead of o)....especially when the freakin' board title is Mismatched L.....s

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Thu, 11-15-2012 - 1:47pm
That IS ridiculous, Secondfiddle! I had some weird problem with the filter a while back too. Your observation is pretty correct too. I know that I am having stop-gap sex with my DH. But it is the best I have to offer. I'd love nothing more than to be able to conjure up the kind of passion he's after, but I just cannot. So I give what I've got, and hope it works. Of course I have gone the extra mile by opening up the relationship as well, which works in my favor but it is still a stop-gap type of measure.
Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Thu, 11-15-2012 - 2:08pm

Excellent work describing my marriage.

Hopefully you have garnered this wisdom via reading posts here and not by suffering through the cycle yourself for long periods of time.

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005
Thu, 11-15-2012 - 3:53pm
With all due respect to your writing and allegorical skills, Hold, I would not spend time reading through these posts if they weren't relevant to me. ;) or maybe :(

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2011
Fri, 11-16-2012 - 3:01pm

Another great post Secondfiddecj, I know the spiral all too well.