Libido and Upbringing...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2011
Libido and Upbringing...
Sun, 09-18-2011 - 12:36pm

Not sure if this has been discussed before, but does anyone see a connection to your partner or yourself being HL or LL having had a close or not close relationship with their family?

I am the HL and my family was very close, we always showed signs of affection physically, hugging or kissing and sex was an open book in our home.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Mon, 09-19-2011 - 12:43am

I have a very low libido, and I was raised in a family that is very physically affectionate. I grew up knowing that my parents flirted and were sexually active. After my Mom and Dad divorced, I saw my dad flirt and tease my step-mother. Sex was never a taboo in our house and I wasn't raised with any messages that sex was bad or shameful, etc.

My DH is very HD, and his family on the other hand is not physically affectionate, in fact they aren't very warm in general.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Mon, 09-19-2011 - 6:39am

It's certainly possible that there's a general link, but it doesn't hold true in my case. My parents were both HL and openly affectionate with each other, and there was lots of hugging and kissing in our house. While I myself am very physically affectionate with my husband and kids, I've always been LL, despite wanting very much to be HL in my youth.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Mon, 09-19-2011 - 10:56pm

I am a HL man and my parents have had a horrible relationship. They were more likely to scream and hit each other than hug and kiss. My parents had a liberal attitude towards sex though. My father even gave me a subscription to Playboy for my 16th birthday.

So, IMO, whether parents have a good or bad relationship with each other isn't so important in affecting sex drive. However, parental attitudes towards sex and whether a person has experienced sexual abuse can have an effect.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2004
Wed, 10-12-2011 - 12:32pm

My personal-life sample says there's no connection. My family was not at all close and I can't get enough. DW's family was similar and she's quite LL.