LL due to tiredness?

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
LL due to tiredness?
8
Fri, 07-15-2011 - 1:09pm

Ran across an interesting article/

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Fri, 07-15-2011 - 1:32pm
uh...to put it simply...duh! Exhaustion actually affects your hormones and neurotransmitters. It makes it hard to function in so many ways.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Sat, 07-16-2011 - 1:19am

“… Frank Furedi, Professor of Sociology at the University of Kent, author of Paranoid Parenting, believes that mums find ‘parenting desexualising’.” I find that w’s role as a parent has made me see her in a less sexual way. Part of it may be that she “finds parenting desexualizing” as this professor explains, so she has behaved in a less sexual way. Part of it may be issues such as breastfeeding: When she was pregnant, trying to get pregnant or nursing children, I was not allowed to touch or make sexual comments about her breasts. They were for food, not fun. And she was in one of those three states non-stop from the first year through the 17th year of our marriage.

“Statistic from my survey showed the majority of mums were unhappy with their sex lives - seven out of 10 mums in fact. Why? Most hankered after the sex lives they'd had before the pressures of motherhood set in.” Oddly, I don’t recall any difference in our sex life pre-pregnancy, during toddlerhood and once the children got older. I guess I found the low frequency, low intensity and low variety at all stages equally frustrating.

“Most said they wanted sex – and lots of it - but tiredness, low libido, children sleeping with them or not sleeping, all took their toll.” I find this sentence odd, but then I’ve said this a zillion times. How can you want sex and have a low libido at the same time? To me it’s a bit like really wanting to eat but not being hungry. Huh? Is it about obligation?

“As one mum said, ‘I'd love to have sex without having to plan ahead i.e. getting the kids to bed at a certain time on a certain day.’ " I never got this. Kids sleep. Ours didn’t have a sleep schedule. When they sleep, mommy and daddy have sex and then sleep themselves. When the kid’s sleep isn’t planned, that makes sex spontaneous. How
difficult is that?

“Another mum described her feelings like this: ’I wish I had the energy and inclination, but if I get the chance for an early night I prefer my “space” in bed after spending all day rushing round at work then coming home and rushing around more.’ " I get preferring one’s space. But I find a preference for space inconsistent with a desire to have sex. Pick one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Sat, 07-16-2011 - 8:04am
my_sex_toy45 wrote:

“Most said they wanted sex – and lots of it - but tiredness, low libido, children sleeping with them or not sleeping, all took their toll.” I find this sentence odd, but then I’ve said this a zillion times. How can you want sex and have a low libido at the same time? To me it’s a bit like really wanting to eat but not being hungry. Huh? Is it about obligation?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2009
Sat, 07-16-2011 - 8:29am
But in the type of case mentioned...the blame for it is somehow transferred to the partner......So in typical situations the guy ends up in a damned if you do damned if you don't living hell
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Sat, 07-16-2011 - 9:10am

...one can want sex, but not be attracted to their partner, which means that don't want sex with that partner...so, with that partner, one has a LL...but, perhaps, given the opportunity, one's libido would soar with a new partner(s)...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Sat, 07-16-2011 - 9:16am
<<“Most said they wanted sex – and lots of it - but tiredness, low libido, children sleeping with them or not sleeping, all took their toll.”>>

This bothered me as well. I think it's that they want to want it -- because they think they should -- but they don't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Sat, 07-16-2011 - 10:50am
magnaniman wrote:
<<“Most said they wanted sex – and lots of it - but tiredness, low libido, children sleeping with them or not sleeping, all took their toll.”>>

This bothered me as well. I think it's that they want to want it -- because they think they should -- but they don't.

This is what I was trying to say. "Wanting to want it" would be desire.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Sun, 07-17-2011 - 12:54pm

What do I think?

I think this is providing self-justifying excuses for those who only want to have sex once a month.