Lowest Sex Drive Out Of All My Girlfriends

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2012
Lowest Sex Drive Out Of All My Girlfriends
4
Sun, 01-08-2012 - 5:47am

Removing content for privacy reasons but thank you for your comments. Lots to think about. I think I may have overreacted a bit too. It's not always that way so I guess I should grow up and get used to being in a long term steady thing...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Sun, 01-08-2012 - 6:03am

I'm not sure what you're looking for here - great sex with girlfriend #23/4/4 etc, or whether you want to find someone you can spend your life with?

A word of warning, the high sexual interest in the early days of a sexual relationship (the New Relationship Energy phase) very commonly wears off, maybe that's already happened for your current gf or was never there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Sun, 01-08-2012 - 8:25am
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I don't think the OP needs to accept the partner for who she is UNLESS he chooses to remain in the relationship. NOT accepting her as is and leaving the relationship is an equally valid (make that more valid, IMO) choice.

To the OP: To me it sounds like she simply has a lower interest in sex than the other women in your sexual history. Period. Full stop. It's obviously not you, because you've been able to light many female fires before. Sex drive among women is highly variable, so of course some women have a lower intrinsic sex drive than others (raising hand here).

It sounds like sexual frequency and variety are very important to you and not very important -- perhaps even a bother -- to her. This is NOT a good combination, and I don't believe it can get substantially better. You're talking about very basic facets of your natures here. She may step up her behavioral game, but you'll certainly sense the take-it-or-leave-it feelings behind it. In your shoes I would give serious thought to parting ways before you become further enmeshed.

(I know some people on this board have a policy against giving advice -- I'm not one of them. It's obviously up to you to heed or ignore it as you see fit.)

Freelance
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Sun, 01-08-2012 - 8:58am

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Thanks for clarifying.

I believe this is true whether or not the OP chooses to stay or not (in this case, inclining on the not).

What I am saying is that it's a pre-requisite for a happy long-term relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Sun, 01-08-2012 - 4:25pm
Of course women (and men) have different libidos just like any other trait. Your current GF seems pretty typical, unfortunately. And it will be even more typical as you get older and your dating pool ages along with you. So either accept that reality or throw that fish back in the water and cast your net anew.