marriedguy50 made me think.....(m)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
marriedguy50 made me think.....(m)
7
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 12:18pm
what ARE your top 3 priorities in your marriage? i emailed this question to my husband and i am sure i will be expected to answer it myself....and truthfully, i am not real sure what mine would be....

so just out of curiousity...what are YOURS?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 12:21pm
1. respect

2. for me to be his friend

3. awesome mind blowing sex once a day. :)

I suprised myself that sex was not my number one, but without the other two, I could never have sex with him so, this is the way mine came out.




Edited 3/27/2003 1:22:11 PM ET by marriedsexylawyer

Jen
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-1998
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 1:46pm
1)Unconditional love

2)Honesty

3)Respect

It's amazing sex never fit in there. I would love mind blowing sex but the other 3 are the reasons I married him. That and a bunch of other things, like he got along with the boys.

I think if I was looking for a new mate today, it would be the same 3 things and #4 would be continual mind blowing sex. LOL

LR

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 4:17pm
This web addy takes you to a questionairre that will help you determine your top emotional needs. This guy has found after questioning 100's of couples that there are 10 emotional needs that seem to come up over and over and over. Some that some people may list separately but are closely related he puts as one need.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi4501_enq.html

This helped me figure out what I needed most, and has helped a LOT of other people. Now if my H would fill it out for me so I could make him happier, well, we'd both be happier. But he doesnt believe in an program or any person helping us be happier. He thinks we have to figure it all out ourselves.

His way ain't working.

Amanda

Avatar for debthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 4:58pm
Wow! That questionnaire is wonderful. I'm printing it out now.

It covers a lot of questions and topics which our counsellor covered when we had some sessions with him.

This will be interesting.

Re: your DH.... don't ask if he wants to do this questionnaire with you, TELL him that you want to do it and that it's important to you so you'd appreciate his co-operation. Surely it wouldn't be too much trouble for him to give a half hour to this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 5:16pm
Geez. Don't know what happened to my post.

Anyway ... #1 on my list is intimacy, closeness. This includes much more than sex, but sex is very much a part of it at this stage of my life.

Second is security, emotional and financial.

Third is a daily commitment to making the world a better place, starting with family, moving to friends, to co-workers, and then to the external world.

My wife?

Security is #1.

Respect and recognition is #2.

Her faith is #3 ... which includes part of what I have put in my number 3, minus family.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-1998
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 5:19pm
Thanks that was enlightening. I came up with honesty being #1 I guess that comes from a marriage where there was cheating. 2 was admiration(unconditional love)and 3 was Sex.

LR


Edited 3/27/2003 6:21:40 PM ET by ladyroberts

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 5:24pm
>>Re: your DH.... don't ask if he wants to do this questionnaire with you, TELL him that you want to do it and that it's important to you so you'd appreciate his co-operation. Surely it wouldn't be too much trouble for him to give a half hour to this? <<

It wouldn't be too much trouble for him to give me a hand job either, though. LOL And that wouldn't take 30 minutes! LOL

I asked him about it about two weeks ago, told him I wanted to make him the happiest man in the world, but I needed his help to do it. I asked him if he would fill out the questionaire so I'd know what I need to do. He said he'd have to see. Two weeks later, still not done. *sigh* When I've asked him before what his needs are, he's said if I can't figure it out on my own, there is no point in telling me. WHAT?!? Did he think he married a mind reader? He's sadly mistaken if he thought he was! LOL

Amanda