Misc. ramblings on serial monogamy, multiple girlfriends, polygamy, etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Misc. ramblings on serial monogamy, multiple girlfriends, polygamy, etc.
46
Thu, 09-01-2011 - 4:08am

Sigh... somebody please tell me I'm wrong, but... I'm seriously starting to think that most women simply can't keep up with me sexually.

I know, I know this may offend some of my female HL counterparts, so I apologize for what seems like a generalization.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2009
That level of HL is hard.....really hard. The one time I was fully sexually satisfied I was 19 and dating 2 HL girls openly...they knew each other to the point the 3 of us hung out and rented 2 apts in the same building for about a year.....It's too much emotional work....sexually it was great.....balancing the emotions was really hard....... I was A screwy kid thinking I might pull off a line marriage..a la Heinlein's "the moon is a harsh mistress" just balanced with a majority of women ........

It's hard to say this but it is very likely that you'll never be really sexually satisfied...... Get used to beating it off multiple times, with one in 6 or so being the best any woman can keep up with you.....To most people your a freak......sex addict.....etc...... Not in real life .....just highly sexed...... but...that's what you'll hear at times......really just the opposite end of the spectrum from Asexual.

Time to get hammered for my opinion and for supporting yours to a large degree.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
I think the only way that polyamory can work is if the women are highly subservient to the man, which is very rare these days (for mostly good reasons). I find that lifestyle fascinating though I doubt I could pull it off.

I sometimes fantasize about short-term serial monogamy but I know myself enough to know that it wouldn't work for me either. I'm "stuck" with what I have, for better or worse.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
I think if you want a high level of passionate sex (1 or more times daily) you will have a very hard finding it in a sustained relationship. That level of frequency just sort of makes passion harder to come by for most folks. How can it not become "same old, same old" when you're doing it EVERY day? There's going to be repetition, and obligation on that level, for most folks.

Now if you are willing to go with 3x a week, and having the encounters vary in terms of level of passion, then I think you CAN find that with one person over the long haul.

You don't really seem to have a clear idea of what you want/expect. Makes it hard to comment. As far as having kids goes, I think you might need to decide what is really important to you, as sex is going to go to the back burner to some degree, due to limited time and resources, during pregnancy and early childhood years.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010

No, I'm not going to hammer you nor the OP.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Oh, and OP...why are you not considering consensual non-monogamy as well? This, I believe is your best hope for finding the kind of sexual fulfillement you are after.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007

"why are you not considering consensual non-monogamy as well? "

To me, this is multiple girlfriends or multiple wives ;-)

It may sound like (or "be") a double standard, but just call me old fashioned ... has worked for thousands of years... and it still "works" and is accepted in non-western cultures.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006

>>"why are you not considering consensual non-monogamy as well? "

To me, this is multiple girlfriends or multiple wives ;-)<<

Not necessarily, there is a lot more fluidity in consensual non-monogamy. And it is the only solution I see as practical and still giving you the possibility of having children and raising them in a semi-normal western type home (where they will grow up not feeling like freaks for having 3 mommies and one daddy.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009

M, I was always gutted you never wanted to be part of my harem in the Tokapi Palace.

I'm very glad the humanity is returning and the pain receding though.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006

If you're looking for 'enough' in just one woman for the long haul, you will need to find a HL for the first part and meet her perpetual feminine needs for adoration, security, respect, attention, conversation, etc.

Basically, men and women are two different animals no matter how you slice it and you will only get the 'return' you are seeking if you make the right investment.

IMHO, which is also based on the last two years experience, finding the HL is by FAR the easy part so you might want to start looking inward to see if you have the resources for the second half of the equation.

Otherwise, go for serial or multiple which may or may not be easier in the long run - I've never tried it.

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
I am going to give you the same advice I give female HLs who complain about "always" ending up with LL guys. Examine your radar and screening criteria. If you want a HL female, then you are going to have to avoid screening out females who display "unwanted" behavior that may be correlated to high libido. Also, this may interfere with your goal of finding a woman who fits your criteria for being the mother of your child(ren). Finding both in the same woman may be difficult. Same dilemma as HL women face when trying to decide between the "bad boy" she wants to bang and the guy who will be a great husband and father.

Finally, I would be worried that a woman who wants sex 2 -3 times per day may be likely to cheat. Not meaning to impugn the integrity of women compared to men, but the circumstances are different. A man who wants lots of sex and finds a woman willing to oblige him is likely, given the relative scarcity of such women, to remain faithful. On the other hand, give the abundance of men willing to provide sex to any woman willing to consent, a woman who wants sex often may not feel as constrained to remain faithful.

When you see it coming, duck!

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