More new things in my life

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
More new things in my life
20
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 9:09am

I've been doing some things that I think you all would be proud of.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 9:59am

Congratulations on reaching a place where you feel comfortable doing this. Keep it up, and I hope he responds over time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 10:19am

it's good to see that you are finally standing up for yourself though I'm not so sure about your approach.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 10:24am
My approach is designed to make HIM realize how his actions aren't serving HIM. Anything less won't work. He is one of those people who has to think that everything is his idea. Anything that is anyone else's idea is to be argued with and dissected and disproven.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2002
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 10:58am

I have always stayed out of beating on your DH. Plenty on here that can do that.

Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. Benjamin Franklin
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 11:05am
Lol, nice use of fonts, DMAM. You are right, of course, but it took me forever to figure out a way to do this that was going to work FOR me and not against me.

I don't expect this approach to work forever either, I know it will get tired and old, and stop having the effect on him, but for right now it is making him stop and think, and that's an improvement in any case.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 12:07pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 12:13pm
ROTFLMFAO! You guys are hysterical
Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 12:16pm

Here is

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2002
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 12:16pm
I know that this is going to sound weird, but don't forget some positive reinforcement for the times he does something right. (if there is such a time). It could be something as simple as a kiss with a thank you. You can even use that when you see that he stops to think about his actions after you point it out.

Keep a balance between the carrot and the stick I tell you. (hmm that sounds kinky)

Dirty
Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. Benjamin Franklin
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 2:02pm
I don't have much to reinforce positively at this stage of the game. Other than the stopping to think about it thing, that is. He brought home Popeye's fried chicken from his last trip up north (we have no Popeye's here, it's so sad...) I thanked him for it repeatedly. I ate the last of it for lunch today so I will thank him again for buying a bucket of chicken. Besides that, I got nothin'. He just doesn't do ANYTHING for me.... I just cannot think of a single thing. I'm wracking my brain right now, and still...nothing. Whereas this morning before I even left for work, I did the dishes in the sink (because he doesn't like them there, I would have left them til tonight, but he hates that.) and made him tea, because he only had about one glass left. I will have to think some more about what he does for me that I can reinforce.

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