need advice please...not sure where to go from here
Find a Conversation
|Mon, 07-11-2011 - 10:20pm|
I have been with my bf for 3 years. We connected sexually from the beginning. We had frequent, adventurous sex. It was different (better) than anything I had ever experienced before. It seemed very mutual and we were happy there and in the rest of the relationship also. About a year or so ago his interest in sex dramatically decreased. The interest in being adventurous decreased as well as frequency. This hurt and I felt like he lost desire in me. I tried talking to him. Initially he denied a problem or any decrease, then he said it was due to stress. As it continued I got more and more frustrated and kept bringing it up from time to time. He finally told me he has always had a low libido and the adventure and frequency for the first year and a half was really stressful for him and he just did it to make me happy. This has hit me really hard. First of all I feel like he was dishonest with me about a big part of himself and who he was. One of the things I fell in love with was our chemistry and it turns out that wasn't really there. The other thing is I have been trying to talk to him about this for a year or more and have told him repeatedly that the change in our sex life hurt me because I felt like his desire for me was gone but he waited until just now to tell me the truth. I feel like he just let me hurt for a year because he was afraid of telling me the truth. I can handle less frequent sex but the dishonesty of it all is really hitting me hard. I know he isn't cheating on me and he's a really good guy overall. I love him but am thinking of leaving him over this. Am I overreacting? Has anyone been through this or do you have any advice?