Need some sex advice: Comm. problems

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Need some sex advice: Comm. problems
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 5:14pm
My boyfriend and I have been sexually intimate with each other for over a year now. He is my first and only and making love was great in the beginning--there was a lot of foreplay before intercourse and now he either isn't in the mood (we have opposite schedules) or if we have sex (which is not often) he wants to jump right into the deed. I have expressed myself many times that I enjoy foreplay in order for me to get in the love making mood. I don't know if he's just not taking me seriously or what, but the foreplay still isn't happening.

In addition, I have asked him to tell me what turns him on so then I know what to do--he always tells me anything I do turns him on, and I honestly am thinking I am bad in bed because he rarely ejaculates. In the 15 months that we have been sexually intimate, he has ejaculated one time! He says he just has really good control--is this true or am I just really bad in bed? Just in general, do you all have any suggestions for improving our sex life?



Avatar for janegael
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 03-30-2003 - 1:32pm
Hi Megan,

Your boyfriend has some problems in bed and you are trying to make them yours. If he rarely ejaculates and has low interest he needs to see a doctor. Many men refuse to go as they are too embarassed, but the doctor has seen it all and might find some physical reason for his difficulty ejaculating and his low sex drive.

It's not you. It's him, so don't go putting yourself down. There is no real help for your sex life until he tries to find out what's going on with his body. You two need to talk openly and honestly about your love life and that won't happen over night.