New & Confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2010
New & Confused
6
Sat, 07-17-2010 - 11:18am

I'm an HL with a possible LL partner.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Sat, 07-17-2010 - 11:28am
...I think you should decide if you can live the rest of your life without being sexually satisfied...I don't think libido can be altered...I think that if he is really into working with you on the sexual relationship (and, while this is a unromantic thought...working on it)...he'd already be doing it even if it involved activities other than intercourse...I have just a few questions...if he does have a lower libido, would it be possible for you to be sexually satisfied through activities other than intercourse...would you accept his willing participation in your sexual satisfaction even if he isn't personally experiencing sexual arousal and satisfaction?...I ask because I am a LL female and while I always enjoy sex with my husband (everyday) I often do not enjoy it in a sexual way...pleasing him pleases me...if my husband were to define his sexual satisfaction by how many orgasms I have, we would be doomed as a couple...if he defined sexual intimacy as mutual arousal (all of the time) then we would be doomed...as it is...he enjoys my orgasms when I have them and he appreciates my enthusiastic participation even when I am not in the mood for an orgasm...do you define sexual satisfaction as mutual arousal (all of the time)...if you define sexual satisfaction as him be desirous of you and initiating sex frequently...if you need to be pursued sexually...then he may not be able to produce that all of the time or even on a frequency you want...you'll have to decide what you consider sexual satisfaction...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Sat, 07-17-2010 - 11:49am

"I do love him

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2010
Sat, 07-17-2010 - 12:15pm

Thanks for your insight.


Just to clarify, he is attracted to me and he does want to initiate sex with me but is having trouble doing so on his own.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2010
Sat, 07-17-2010 - 12:29pm

you'll have to decide what you consider sexual satisfaction...


I have a healthy and realistic outlook - ie, don't always need to have mutual satisfaction, will please partner even if I as an HL am tired, I like being persued, like initiating...think I am fairly balanced

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Sat, 07-17-2010 - 12:44pm
...if he's just a plain old LL...will you be satisfied if he can't participate in intercourse at a frequency that he is now?...what if he just pleases you without having an orgasm himself?...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Sat, 07-17-2010 - 1:59pm

"Just to clarify, he is attracted to me and he does want to initiate sex with me but is having trouble doing so on his own.