New Exercise Plan
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|Sun, 11-21-2010 - 12:28pm|
I watched the Dr. Oz show about losing 10 lbs. and thought about getting one of those free blue bracelets. Losing 10 lbs.is hard for me to do because my husband likes to surround us with food. He loves food and watches cooking shows, eating shows and food is the biggest part of his life. I think if I was a robot and didn't have to eat or pee or poop then I might not want more than existing in the same house with someone that considers sex a chore and having sex a duty.
Recently, I came up with my own unique plan. Every time my husband plays with the dog or tells the dog how nice he is that I will do 50 situps and 25 pushups. I am behind on the pushups. It annoys the crap out of me how many "good boys" I hear. What am I chopped liver? So, I told my SO about my plan and he asked why I would take it out on the puppy dog. And I said, "it isn't the dog."
I have successfully lost an inch, but the weight appears to be about the same. My SO recently returned from a study group and I wasn't sure whether I wanted him to come home or not. We drank a few beers and he got mellowed out. He let me lay on him and for the first time in forever we had passionate sex but no matter what he does I always think that he is putting on a performance and this was all for me and he would have been just as content laying there snoring. He's good at marathon sex and not making it. In the morning when I asked him if he wanted to finish what he started, he declined.
I have read books on relationships and understanding and I understand perfectly well that my SO just isn't in to sex, he doesn't want to talk about it, go to a therapist and doesn't care whether it gets better and will do whatever he has to do so that he can be as least involved as possible.
So, those people that think that I should have been happy and stop whining and be thankful for this I applaud you. While I am doing my situps, I keep repeating this to myself. "I deserve to be loved, I am loveable, I have love to give."
I've been asking my self whether I want to find a sex partner. For those people that have had affairs, does this help or make things worse?