No desire

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2011
No desire
7
Sat, 02-19-2011 - 10:59pm

I have remarried, at age 50, and my husband and I have no desire for sex at all...The only thing comforting to me is that I am not attracted to any other man and he is not attracted to any other woman.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2011
Sat, 02-19-2011 - 11:07pm

Hello there....

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Sun, 02-20-2011 - 5:57pm

I agree with the previous poster. You're in an enviable position if you and your spouse are on the same page. Don't go looking for problems. That said, I have to wonder if you're really happy with the way things are -- or else why would you be posting on this board?

Did you use to love sex and passion, but have now lost the desire? If so, you may feel some regret at the loss. You may also wonder if you might feel more interested in sex with a different partner. If that's the case, you have some physical and emotional exploring to do...

Freelance

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2009
Mon, 02-21-2011 - 12:59am

I say that if you don't use it, you lose it. I think you should try having sex more often, even if you don't feel like it. Once you get started, you usually enjoy it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Mon, 02-21-2011 - 8:59am
>>Sex is one of the greatest joys in life. Everything good in life takes effort.<<

Blueorchid.

You might want to be careful throwing those kinds of statments around on a board populated with some low libido people. Not everyone feels that sex is one of the "greatest joys" in life. I know that at this stage of my life I do NOT feel it is. I am pretty sure that Freelancemomma and tiptoe don't feel it is either.

Some of us believe sex is WAY overglorified in our culture. It is not the "end all, be all" that the media portrays it to be. If the original poster and her new husband are having fun when they have it, and are happy with the current arrangement, there is no earthly reason to put pressure on either one of them to do more. More is not better, it's just more, and I am here to tell you from experience that the fastest way to ruin any enjoyment of sex that exists is to make it a pressure situation for one of the participants.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2009
Mon, 02-21-2011 - 9:47am

That is the beauty of this board. To get opinions from a variety of people who have very different viewpoints and

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Mon, 02-21-2011 - 10:07am

<>

You got it. I have never felt that sex was one of the greatest joys in life, because I'm not wired to get a lot of joy from sex. A lot of other things bring me great joy: my kids, my husband (just having him around), my work, travel, studying languages, good food and wine, hanging out at the cottage, swimming in lakes...

Blanket statements about sex or marriage are never useful, IMO, because we're all different.

Freelance

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 11:02am
I agree with "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Rejoice in what you have. It is rare and precious. Do not go looking for ways to upset the apple cart.

When you see it coming, duck!