Is this normal ??? Please read

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Is this normal ??? Please read
7
Mon, 11-29-2010 - 8:52pm

Hi, I am confused about the sex thing in my relationship with my man...we are in a long distance relationship . We see each other on weekends. He is decent, a great father raises his 2 kids alone, respectful and so on. All the good things a guy can be except I have no idea if I can keep up with his sex drive. WOW he never stops.. sometimes I feel like we have a sex based relationship. All he wants to do with

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Mon, 11-29-2010 - 11:21pm

Normal for human beings is a huge range of things. It includes both his behavior and your reaction to him. You're both normal.

What is not normal is to stay in a relationship with someone with whom you are sexually incompatible and to expect that relationship to be comfortable for both of you. It will never be. It will either be uncomfortable for you or for him or for both of you. One or both of you can volunteer for and negotiate and compromise and adjust to and learn to live with that discomfort if you'd like. But if I were you, I wouldn't ever expect that of someone else as a condition of being in the relationship--I would either take all the discomfort on myself and adjust to it or leave the relationship. But that's my view of how relationships should be, I suppose. I wouldn't ever want to require that the person I love experience discomfort as part of being with me, whether that discomfort is a result of having more sex than he or she can tolerate or a result of having less sex than he or she needs. What's your view of that aspect of relationships?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Tue, 11-30-2010 - 9:12am

Please please please please tread very carefully here.

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Tue, 11-30-2010 - 10:26am

Look on the bright side.

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Tue, 11-30-2010 - 10:37am

My first suggestion is to have an open and honest conversation with your SO about both of your expectations of your sexual relationship. This conversation should be done without saying either position is "bad" "wrong" or "abnormal".

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Tue, 11-30-2010 - 11:17am

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Tue, 11-30-2010 - 1:16pm

Thank you so much for your reply, how do I get to your posts I am very interested to read them but Im new at this and am not sure how to navigate to them .Thanks again I appreciate your thoughts :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Tue, 11-30-2010 - 1:21pm
http://forums.ivillage.com/t5/forums/recentpostspage/user-id/633338/post-type/message

This should take you to a list of them. Be warned though, I think there's over 100 pages! Just pick some and jump around, I think you will get a sense of where I've been.