Not sure why I'm back but need to vent

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Not sure why I'm back but need to vent
Tue, 09-04-2012 - 11:40am

My LL husband and I are going through our divorce. It's been a tough week I guess. What sparked me to come here was a discussion with my good friend yesterday. She calls to check in on me and be supportive but she manages to make me feel like crap every time. We've been friends for 20 years and I don't want to harm our relationship in any way but it's difficult to be around her sometimes.

She basically doesn't believe in divorce and thinks I should have stayed with my husband.

He and I had not had sex in three years. We were in counselling all those years. I asked to work on the sex issue again and again and it just fell on deaf ears. He would say he understood, say he would work on it, but didn't. I have to say my part in it was wanting at least some connection outside of the bedroom, or at least to be treated with respect, although in hindsight maybe I should have just "faked it til I made it". I would actually have been willing to do that if we could have discussed it a bit. He just basically took the topic off the table every time it came up. He would not talk to me. He was definitely not willling to make any kind of first move and I had given up on intiating years ago. Neither one of us did our best to fix it, I'll admit.

There were many more issues in the relationship besides this but this was a pretty big one for me. Was I supposed to stay in a completely loveless and sexless marriage?