Over a year...so discouraged!
Find a Conversation
|Thu, 06-24-2010 - 6:25pm|
Long story as short as possible, my husband had his prostate removed (nerve sparing) about a year and a half ago due to prostate cancer. The good news is that he is still here, and cancer free. The bad news is he is unable to have an erection anymore. We were told that there was a good chance it would come back because the nerves were spared, but over a year later and no good results..the worst part is that his doctor told him the more we "simulated" the act..and the more we tried..the better it would be..and he hasn't been able to deal with the frustration and humiliation of it to try with me more than a few times..I am grieving my sex life. We had such a good one, and I miss him so much. I don't ever see me having sex with anyone else, and toys are not the same..I want my husband! I am so distraught about it, and don't know what to do. He refuses counseling and says he is ok without the sex, that he is happy with me..and us..but the problem is compunded by the fact that he isn't too affectionate without the sex..that is where I got most of my cuddles etc. so I am really starved. I have tried and tried talking about it and he is shut down. There are no perks..just for me..as he can't bear to even engage in sexual play unless intercourse is the outcome. I am in my late 40's which gives me a long sentence of this if I live to a normal old age..with no prospect of sex again??? I can't stand it. I really have no idea what to do and have no one to talk to, as I don't want to discuss his personal issues with friends.
Thanks for listening, I love my husband so much..and I just feel like I am in mourning. I have gained 20 lbs..the ice cream is comforting at first..and then I just end up hating the way I look and feeling awful about myself. Just feeling sorry for myself in general I guess. I know I should just be thankful he is alive, and we are happy together...but I can't help it!!!