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|Sat, 09-10-2011 - 2:03pm|
new to post, but i've read quite a lot. Its a relief to see other people have simular issues. Heres my story: i've been married for seven years and i have a two yearold. My husband and i started off as most couples do, having sex whenever and wherever possible for the first six months. Then all of a sudden a month goes by with nothing, i asked him why and he said "because you're like a friend to me, and i just haven't seen you in that way" i should have listened hard that day... Eventually things picked up and seemed normal sexually. I almost always innitiated, when he did it would go like this: out of the blue, 'i have a boner, would you like to have sex?' and then he expects me to just say okay and start... 9 times out of ten i did, because i have a high sex drive. So before we had my son we had sex twice a week average, and i was okay with that. There would still ocassionally be a gulf of three to four weeks, and they were hard but i remained faithful and pleasant and good to him. Fast forward to soon after my son is born my husband tells me he was uncomfortable having sex whilst i was pregnant but he did it anyway so i wouldn't get upset. After that i got a double breast infection, which is incredibly painful, and whilst i was suffering with that i know he took care of himself because i caught him, he said he knew i couldn't have sex because of the infection, which was true, but out of respect for me i'd think he could have waited a few days to be with me, or at least have been more descrete. Since then we have sex about once a month. And he has got less and less interested each time. I have changed physically, and i've asked him if that was an issue for him and he said know. I do workout nearly everyday now and i've gone down two dress sizes this summer. And its had no effect. I think he likes the fact that he can have sex whenever he feels like it and therefore doesn't think of it as a priority at all. We've had countless discussions, numerous appolgies from both sides, and i just dont know what to do. Its eating away at the core of us. I need to have sex to feel close, to want to share my love, to be kind and cherish him. If he has no passion for me whats the point? What can i do to improve things if i have nothing to start from? How can i change to in the very least get used to feeling like my husband doesn't want me sexually? I appreciate people reading this. At least i know im not alone.