scheduled sex versus spontaneous sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
scheduled sex versus spontaneous sex
53
Wed, 06-08-2011 - 10:49am

There was an interesting tidbit about scheduled sex versus spontaneous sex in an article on the usually tongue-in-cheek Cracked.com:

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Wed, 06-08-2011 - 11:17am

...I haven't read the article...but, if we did not schedule our sex, we wouldn't have it...we are so busy so that we have to make a priority sceduling...which is why we have it every day, in the early morning before we get up...we also have it at unscheduled period...like yesterday afternoon when both boys were on the other side of the lake...I wonder how sporadic is sporadic in a bad sense...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Wed, 06-08-2011 - 11:44am

Z, ....I think they are referring to a regular schedule of sex rather than hit and miss.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Thu, 06-09-2011 - 4:47pm

I like scheduled sex, I like to look forward to it, less guessing, can get excited & have a pay off.

Dating is full of scheduled sex, you're more likely to have dates on Friday or Saturday & ... then have the sex.

People get into relationships, start seeing each other more often, or married & seeing all day long ... & then seem to think spontaneous is the holy grail.

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Thu, 06-09-2011 - 5:16pm

...never thought of it that way tulips...you're right...most of us put a great deal of energy into scheduling sex and romance when we're dating and then, later...when it comes to married sex...some of us act as though scheduled sex is boring...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Thu, 06-09-2011 - 5:21pm
>>...never thought of it that way tulips...you're right...most of us put a great deal of energy into scheduling sex and romance when we're dating and then, later...when it comes to married sex...some of us act as though scheduled sex is boring...<<

The flip side of that is that some folks get married and feel like they can take sex for granted, like it's "on tap" and they never have to go out of their way to "cultivate" it. Sex when I'm not living with someone full time is way better for me than when I am. I haven't figured out how to level that playing field.
Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Thu, 06-09-2011 - 5:36pm
Abstaining is much less stressful than hit or miss with long pauses between the hits. Of course, death is the least stressful state of being, so there can certainly be a point of going too far in reducing stress.

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Thu, 06-09-2011 - 5:56pm

...I love you Hold...in a non-stalking cyber kind of way...but, death is only less stressful for the dead...if you love anyone on the face of the earth and consider their feelings in your day to day life...know that you death (especially one that you cause...on purpose) will be so stressful for them...for years and years and years...you will compound their stress...

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Fri, 06-10-2011 - 8:30am
Thanks for the expression of concern. I know that death is understandably a sore spot for you. Don't worry, my cojones are not nearly large enough to support that choice. If I ever gave it serious consideration, rest assured I would wimp out in the end. If things got really bad, my masochistic self would much rather endure the humiliation of watching Mrs. Hold cavort happily with hubbie #2. I would never deprive myself of that exquisite torture by ending things early.

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Fri, 06-10-2011 - 9:12am

Sex when I'm not living with someone fulltime is way better for me than when I am. I haven't figured out how to level that playing field. 

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Fri, 06-10-2011 - 9:22am
>>Seperate bedrooms?<<

Tried, unsuccessfully. I don't think it's "separate" enough. I think living with someone "part time" would probably be ideal for me, but I don't know of a man alive who would be willing to do that. I can see enjoying 3 or 4 days a week in the same house, and 3 or 4 days separate. Sooner or later it seems that ALL relationships come to that point where they have to "take the next step" and be together full time. I don't think I'm really cut out for it, oh well...it's my lot.

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