Selective HL ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Selective HL ?
25
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 5:29pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 10:31pm
It sounds like he gets off on elicit sex. Sex within a committed RL is too routine and bland to do anything for him. That's probably very common, if unhealthy, for both sexes.

I think you are assuming too much about his RL with his W, especially sexually. I wonder why you don't just ask?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 10:46pm
What are the odds that if she asks he will be telling the truth. He's a proven liar right out of the gate.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 6:24pm

Actually I did ask and it seems more complicated than that. I think he has a disfunction hmmmm

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 9:53pm
What kind of dysfunction?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 10:42pm

Well, apparently I misunderstood everything.

And apparently, he's in love with me and just doesn't feel like having sex with her even if he's physically able....I first thought that he wasn't able to and for a guy with such a libido it sounded strange...oh well....

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Thu, 04-26-2012 - 10:35am
I think he is a player, and I am impressd with his game.

First: I cannot get it up for my wife, I can only get it up for you. Figures the woman will be pleased to hear how sexy she is. Then he slips and admits he occassionally has sex with his wife. Mistress is confused. I thought you couldn't get it up for her? he replies, well, I can, but the sex with her is so much worse than the sex with you I don't enjoy being with her. You are the one I want.

Sireanita, I am sorry to have to say this, but I think you are being played. Which is pretty much what you should expect when you are having a relaitonship with a married man. You know he is a liar, because he is lying to his wife. No reason to think he isn't lying to you as well.

be smart. Find someone who can devote themselves entirely to you. You deserve no less.

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Thu, 04-26-2012 - 10:40am
anita, he's not in love with you. he's in love with the thrill of doing something "wrong." He gets high from knowing he can get away with the cheating and the lies. He lives for the drama that brings him. Cut it off, get out, move on. It's a losing game. He lies, period, end of sentence. He lies to her, and he's most likely lying to you as well. Life is too short to spend part of it being lied to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Thu, 04-26-2012 - 11:32am

What are the odds that if she asks he will be telling the truth. He's a proven liar right out of the gate.....

Of course he's going to lie but even a lie can lead you to the truth.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Thu, 04-26-2012 - 12:02pm
Magnaniman. You and Hold are right, but I just have ZERO tolerance for liars. I'll put up with a lot of crap (as is evidenced by my relationship with DH) but will absolutely not tolerate a liar. It's the ultimate dealbreaker for me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Thu, 04-26-2012 - 12:25pm

a liar..... It's the ultimate dealbreaker for me.

So is this what drives the ability to manage an open marriage?

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