Sex as a Life Motivator

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Sex as a Life Motivator
Sun, 11-20-2011 - 1:42pm

First of all, THANK YOU all for being so candid. Reading what you've all written makes me feel comforted and hopeful.

I came here today feeling really sad because my new man has a very low libido and mine is at some sort of new peak.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2009
Sun, 11-20-2011 - 10:11pm

Hi, Marina. If you've had one date that resulted in your two sexual encounters, it's probably a bit premature to try to have a conversation with your lover about your expectations. If those encounters are spread out over too long a period suggesting they are rare events, then you probably already have your answer. You can have a relationship where you're always wanting more sex or you can move on with no fuss or hard feelings. You could also keep this man as an occasional lover and fun dinner companion. But it doesn't sound as if he is the man who is going to give it to your regularly. If you try to talk him into your way of doing things, he might be able to comply for a while but it's probably unrealistic to expect he'll be able to keep it up forever, figuratively speaking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Mon, 11-21-2011 - 11:18am
I know some people are going to say that age has nothing to do with it, but I say come on, be realistic! The guy is 73. Chances are that sex is never going to be as important to him as it was when he was 20.

Sex as a life goal or motivator is a completely foreign concept to me. I have many other fish to fry, such as writing books, travelling, raising my kids, etc. But if it's a central facet of life to you, I suggest you reconsider your current relationship. What I DON'T suggest is pestering the guy to change into something he's not, especially at this stage of his life. Take him as is or set him free.

JMHO Freelance