should I lie?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
should I lie?
57
Fri, 07-16-2010 - 11:48am

DH had a conversation with me yesterday that has me sort of tied in knots.

He woke me at 3 am for sex, I complied, did what I could that I knew would bring him off, and went back to sleep. That evening, in the car on the way to run errands, he said to me, "so I suppose that did nothing for you this morning, right?"

I shrugged, looked straight ahead and said, "not really, no."

He said something to the effect of, "thanks, that makes me feel real good" and of course it was dripping with sarcasm.

I replied to that, "what do you want me to do? Should I lie to you," knowing that lying is something he hates. He responded with a nasty-toned comment about "who knows when you've been lying." which hurt me deeply because I do my utmost best never to lie to him and believe I should have earned his trust by now, but obviously not.

WTF am I supposed to do? I'm totally bamboozled.

roo and snowy siggie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
In reply to: mirandarr8
Fri, 07-16-2010 - 12:00pm
Ach, you're not bamboozled Miranda, he is & is trying to suck you in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
In reply to: mirandarr8
Fri, 07-16-2010 - 12:05pm
How was I supposed to respond to the first question though? I can't say "it's not me, it's you" that doesn't make sense in that context.
roo and snowy siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
In reply to: mirandarr8
Fri, 07-16-2010 - 12:11pm
...it's hard for me to write what I think here because I know that I'll offend you...so, I am going to write what my answer to my husband would be..."I always enjoy pleasing you............"...my answer may include my sexual enjoyment or my mental enjoyment...I don't know if your husband would appreciate your mental enjoyment (simply enjoy pleasing him because he enjoys it)...I am really glad that you have this board to write your frustrations..
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
In reply to: mirandarr8
Fri, 07-16-2010 - 12:13pm

I think you did fine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
In reply to: mirandarr8
Fri, 07-16-2010 - 12:15pm
Maybe I haven't been paying attention but why is it that your schedules are so misaligned
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
In reply to: mirandarr8
Fri, 07-16-2010 - 12:18pm

Z,

I don't think you'd offend me. I know my DH is a jerk, it's not exactly news. I just think that I could not do or say what you would have me do or say, so it'd be unfruitful to hear that. I think I should consider some responses similar to what you posted though. I could turn it around and say that I was happy to be there with him and that I was hopeful that he enjoyed it.

Not exactly untrue.....I mean 3 am is irritating, but still..

roo and snowy siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
In reply to: mirandarr8
Fri, 07-16-2010 - 12:21pm

Yes, I wasn't really feeling guilty, just trying to do it better next time.

I'm not trying to hurt him, I want to make things better, not worse.

Thanks for backing up my disgruntled feeling about the time and circumstances....it's nice to know I'm not an unreasonable unfeeling biotch.

roo and snowy siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
In reply to: mirandarr8
Fri, 07-16-2010 - 12:21pm
...excellent idea...
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
In reply to: mirandarr8
Fri, 07-16-2010 - 12:24pm

Glenn,

This has been going on for YEARS, despite me telling him that I don't enjoy that time of the day, etc. If I turn him down or push him away when he tries it, there's a better than 50% chance that it'll turn into an ugly fight that will leave me wrung out, feeling terrible and unable to sleep at ALL, so it's better to accommodate him as best I can and move on.

roo and snowy siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
In reply to: mirandarr8
Fri, 07-16-2010 - 12:32pm

Miranda, what I was wondering is IF there is a

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