SO HL, What can YOU do to make the Holidays more relaxing for your LL?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2004
SO HL, What can YOU do to make the Holidays more relaxing for your LL?
39
Thu, 12-15-2011 - 9:16pm

And so it's that time of year when every HL wants to go out and buy a little somethin' somethin' to spice things up with their resident LL. Some years it seems like every other thought/temptation is directed at things that will only ramp up the pressure while at the same time reducing your chances. I learned many years (OK, a couple decades) ago that my efforts made the 'most wonderful time of the year' into the 'most stressful time of the year'. Accordingly, here are some rules that I try to adhere to in order to help keep the season bright:

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
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Reminds me of when my brother, at age two, bought our dad a Tonka truck for his birthday...

F.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009

bought our dad a Tonka truck for his birthday

And that reminds me spending quality time as a Dad playing with Barbies.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009

I guess the holidays bring stress in so many ways!

You're observations on LL stress reduction seem emininently sound because thats NOT what the LL wants for Xmas.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010

I actually don't mind receiving personal garments for Christmas, provided that DH actually thought about what I'd like (silk, satin, lace, panties that won't creep or be uncomfortable) rather than what he'd prefer.... thongs, straps, pleather, etc.

The rest of that list doesn't apply to DH and I, even though I'm LL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Does anyone find it kind of sad that whhen ML is an issue, we stop thinking in terms of "what can I do to make LIFE more relaxing and better for my partner?" and start thinking in terms of "how can I get what I want/need today?" I try hard to make life better for my DH on a daily basis, but some days I am so overwhelmed by the sheer volume of his needs and the demands that life has put upon me that I just cannot get beyond "when is the soonest I can be asleep today?" That was my reality yesterday. And now I feel bad about it. Ugh.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2011

I think it's more sad that some of us have to tiptoe around hoping not to make living with us more stressful by denying who we are while handing over complete control of our sex lives to the person who is stressed out just having to be in the same room with us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
>>I think it's more sad that some of us have to tiptoe around hoping not to make living with us more stressful by denying who we are while handing over complete control of our sex lives to the person who is stressed out just having to be in the same room with us.<< Wow, if your partner is really stressed out just by being in the same room with you, well that's not very healthy for either of you. I am only stressed out by the presence of my partner when his behavior is hostile or when I am feeling guilty/broken/wrong for being who I am (or needing normal amounts of rest.) If my partner's mere presence stressed me out on a daily basis, or if my presence stressed him out, I'd be looking hard at making some major changes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2004

"Reminds me of when my brother, at age two, bought our dad a Tonka

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2004

"And that reminds me spending quality time as a Dad playing with Barbies."

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2004

"I suspect that, as you're observing, these rules are what you have to follow year-round, right?"

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