Strawberry here PLEASE read....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Strawberry here PLEASE read....
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 6:34am
Hi folks... PLEASE can we all hang on in there with the new board structure and try to get things working again - I REALLY don't want us all to lose touch over this and I'm worried about it. Can we really try to work at this for the next three or four days and see if we can get to grips with it ... and if its still not working then we have to ask mel to seriously raise the issue of reverting to the old structure with iVillage. I mean, we literally can't COMMUNICATE at present, so what's the point of having boards AT ALL....?

I am sorry to put up so many posts at once but I haven't been able to post over the last few days... anyway, there's stuff for everyone.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 7:03am
I didn't like the new board format at first, but I don't have a problem now. I catch up on the new posts in Outline View, which I've made to be able to come up in an entirely new window, not that puny & inadequate one before. I post messages from the main board format and really find it just as easy to read and post as before. I've also gotten rid of the ads and popups. If anybody wants any advice, I'd be happy to help. I've kind of been trying to post about it, but either nobody understands or they're still too confused about how the boards work and they haven't even SEEN my posts LOL!

Anyway, I'm totally OK with the boards now.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 8:35am
Hi Strawberry, thanks for posting this!

I've wanted to post something similar, but i can understand the frustration that everyone here is going through. Some boards are just adjusting better and some boards not as well :-( I would hate to see this great group "breakup". I would like for everyone here to give the new format a chance too, even though i myself think it IS overly user-unfriendly *sigh*

I have to be honest with you though Strawberry, that there is "no turning back" for ivillage where the new board format is concerned. The response that we've got from "the higher ups" when we've raised this issue is that there is no reverting back to the old format and we will just have to stick to it. They are still working doggedly at fixing all the bugs and trying to implement some member suggestions about features etc, so you'll probably see more tweaking going on the next couple of weeks, but the board format remain the same.

It's going to be a little extra trouble for everyone to do tweaking and twiddling on their own, as well learning the ins and outs of the whole format, but as it is apparent with Shannon (Shannon_3), it IS doable. I'm glad that Shan has been sharing all her tips and tricks about the new boards, i'm sure that it will help many of us here too if we would all just give it a try!




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 9:52am
I agree w/strawberry...I've noticed alot of veteran posters are not here much anymore. I value all of your opinions and would hate to see any of you go:)
Avatar for debthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 10:07am
On that note, I have a question for EVERYONE.

I really want to know WHO is leaving. If there's a big enough group of people leaving this board, we need to DO something about it (anyone who wants to can email me at to discuss that 'something' further).

So, for those who see this but who do not intend posting anymore or often, can you please reply to this post? Thanks.

P.S. I'm aware that some posters have already gone but I hope to, at least, get an idea of the status here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 12:58pm
Hi guys, I haven't been around much lately but that is not because of the new board. I've continued on the roller coaster ride with my current situation in my marriage and I got to a point where I did not want to post about it anymore or read about CL issues anymore or just plain ole' think about it anymore!! So I did try to stay away for awhile. I was feeling like this board was tiggering too many emotions and frustrations for me. My DH told me that I was pressuring him too much, not just about wanting to have physical relations with him again but about wanting/expecting him to do something about it in a forward motion (ummmm...yes, I do expect that). He brought it up, he layed it out on the table and then expects that I won't have any reaction to it!!!!!!! Or that I will be OK with him just doing nothing about it, "just give it time"! The pressure I have put on him has been very minimal...his perceptions of the pressure on himself have been very intensified and exaggerated and probably self-imposed (projected on me). I stated to him that my mere exsistence on this earth must be perceived as pressure for him!

He is shutting down and pulling back and he did acknowledge this, but is in the thought pattern of 'I can't help it', 'this is all I know how to do so I don't get hurt again/anymore'. He is so full of personal turmoil and so much of it is being projected on me and our CL situation.

We've had a couple of pretty 'hard hitting' discussions since I last posted. I'll post more about some realizations that I came to on another thread. I just wanted ya'll to know that I will stick around. I was just finding myself wallowing in to much self-pity on this board and also with all the work I've done to find my passion and sexuallity only to have to put it on indefinate hold, it is hard to move forward while your SO is moving backwards. I just wanted to forget it all for awhile.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 10:21am
I won't be posting as much as the board currently is because it takes me much more time to weed through the crap. The faster/busier the board is, the worse it is for me since I can't devote an hour to this board alone. I have been coming back and reading what I can, but I am afraid that I am missing a lot. Sorry.
Avatar for debthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 11:49am
Same here. It just takes so much time and effort to post now :( n/t
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 1:04pm
I'm not overly fond of this new format. Although the old format may not have been perfect, it was easy and quick to use in its simplicity. The new format does have some pretty neat functions and I am finding more as I go. They seem to have left out some of the basics (like the ability to put in a TITLE!). There is also no such thing as just popping on for a quick look and/or post anymore. Maybe over time they will get some of the kinks worked out and I will get more accustom to it. However, I don't lurk or post as often because of the loss of simplicity.

OK, I also have to admit that my completely stagnant sex life has moved past mere frustration and on towards a state of resigned indiffence. The infrequent sex that we do have has been of extremely poor quality lately. By the time we are done or halfway through, I often wonder if it is really worth it. The addage "If you can't do a job right, don't do it at all." comes to mind.

This low mood and the more complicated message board has kept me away. I will make an effort though, you haven't lost me yet.

Avatar for ladyroberts
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 1:29pm
You are beginning to sound like me. If you are only going to give it up once make it something worth while damn it!

I always feel guilty that I want quality sex not just sex. For so many years I thought if I could just have something anything I would be happy but as we all come to know quality and quantity go hand and hand.

Guy, I'm really sorry you are feeling down. I'll send you some AZ sunshine.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 2:09pm
I still don't like the new format. I'm living with it by using outline view, but it's not as user friendly. I'll keep sticking for the time being, again because of the great company. Others have said the same - I guess we are all human shields for ivillage! Plus, like Aguyiam, I'm in a pretty low state regarding my CL situation. No quality, no quantity, and the deception at the inception is really weighing heavily on my self-image these days. If I wasn't worth being told a major, deal-killing truth, just what was I to DW back when she was DF? I equate her actions to those of someone who's an alcoholic, or who has a child from a previous union, but hides the dark secret from their fiance knowing it'd bring the wedding bells crashing down if disclosed. What kind of feelings really underlie that kind of concealment? I guess for my part, I'm feeling abused.