Thanks, sorry, never mind

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2005
Thanks, sorry, never mind
2
Sun, 09-16-2012 - 5:24pm

Realised that with all the different sites available to make fun of other people's post with a simple screen shot BF might see it there and recognize our story, if someone for some reason decides that other people will get a kick out of reading this. I don't know but I don't want to wait to find out :smileysad:

I was having a bad night when I wrote it anyway, it's proably not as big a deal as I made it sound.

So, I'm sorry for wasting your time, I'll figure something out myself.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 09-16-2012 - 9:28pm

There are choices.  One would be to tell H that you will find sex elsewhere.

The other would be to just find a lover.  Choosing a lover just for sex would be easier to find with people who are already in the life.  There are men who are skilled lovers yet would not expect more than a sexual friendship.

There is no reason to be miserable.

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 09-16-2012 - 6:21pm

I do think that really you do only have the choice of leaving him or accepting the situation because what other choices are there?  He obviously knows about the problem by now since you have probably mentioned it many times, you have asked him to do things to make your life more acceptable and he hasn't and probably won't.  I do suppose you could ask him if it would be ok with him if you were to have sexual relationships on the side--maybe that would actually be the prodding that he needs to do something.  But if he says no, that it would upset him, then would you have another affair?

Considering the depression thing--if he is only going to a psychiatrist, that isn't going to help.  Psychiatrists usually do only prescribe medication and do minimal, if any, talking--they ask how the patient is feeling, but he also needs a therapist.  My exH has bipolar and he was on medication but he also went to a counselor at least every 2 weeks.  Some of his meds did have the side effect of making it more difficult for him to achieve an orgasm, but he also took Viagra--and really his sex drive was always pretty strong.