Time to be realistic about sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2011
Time to be realistic about sex
Thu, 02-09-2012 - 1:07am

As an antidote to that ridiculous iVillage article, why not listen to someone who actually has experience in helping people get what they want sexually and let go of the "shoulds" they keep clinging to?

Sex therapist Marty Field says that lack of desire is a major problem for most of his clients. He's talking about treating couples with ML, and he has some very intelligent things to say about the problem. I don't want to violate his copyright, so I'll just paste in a couple of introductory sentences and then the link to the article.

Klein has drawn on more than 30 years of counseling experience for this smart handbook on how to develop what he calls “Sexual Intelligence,” which he describes as the thing that “gets you from hormone-driven sex to sex you choose,” “from ‘sex has to validate me’ to ‘I validate my sexuality.’” The challenge here is to let go of notions of what “successful” and “normal” sex looks and feels like. The reward is a sex life where “failure” is virtually impossible.

Salon spoke to Klein by phone from his office in Palo Alto, Calif., about why so many sexual problems can be blamed on idealizing sex and our bodies as they were in our youth.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Thu, 02-09-2012 - 4:12am

Thanks, seems relatively sane, and I'm with you on letting go of the "shoulds" and some of the nonsense articles.