Too young for this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2010
Too young for this?
3
Sat, 09-18-2010 - 11:28am

Good morning,

I am only 21 but have been with my boyfriend for over 5 years... He is 23... We do not do anything more then peck and cuddle at night when it is time for bed. When our relationship first started we were very active with our personal life but, over the last 2 years he is not interested in me. We have went to a counselor and she suggests that it is his testosterone. He is never in the mood, doesn't pleases himself ever, and does not like to talk about the sex life... When I bring it up he goes, "I'm happy with the way things are, why can't you?" I understand it can be stressed and/or hormone related...

The thing that Is getting me upset it he won't do anything to change it. We first scheduled make out days 2 times a week... That lasted about 2 weeks and then he would come up with an excuse why we can't or he purposefully will distract me or say in an hour and then I give up.

Next, I suggested natural libido supplements.. He was excited, researched it and told me he would get it.... That was months ago and he still hasn't done anything past put the info in his wallet. If I bring it up he gets defensive and says he will do it later.

So, I am fed up. When ever I threaten to leave he shapes up for a few weeks to Month and then BAM no more loving.

I love him, we work perfectly except this. I would hate to lose him but I'm tired of going to bed alone because he would rather play video games down the hall.

Lastly, one important thing, we don't live together, we both live with our parents. His excuse used to be he didn't like carding condoms around and we couldn't keep my in my room as to why we never could be intimate... So, even though I don't like birth control, I went on it for the one reason that we could be prepared always. At first, he loved it for a few weeks... But with everything else, I'm left payin for it not to be used.

Any advice or i don't know... Support?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2008
Sat, 09-18-2010 - 1:55pm

Do you want to live without sex for the rest of your life?

No.

Do you think he is the only guy in the whole world you're compatible with outside the bedroom?

Of course not.

Are you committed to him in any serious way, like mortgage, children or even through marriage?

No.

What's keeping you around?

Beats me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Sat, 09-18-2010 - 5:24pm

"So, I am fed up. When ever I threaten to leave he shapes up for a few weeks to Month and then BAM no more loving.



I love him, we work perfectly except this. I would hate to lose him but I'm tired of going to bed alone because he would rather play video games down the hall. "



Well no couple is perfect together.

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Mon, 09-20-2010 - 10:00am
I have given the following advice in the past, and I think it applies to you as well:



If I were you, I would thank your boyfriend profusely.

When you see it coming, duck!