Tricky little heart

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Tricky little heart
11
Thu, 05-20-2010 - 6:27am

My DH had a heart attack a couple of weeks ago. Fortunately the damage was fairly minimal and he's recovering very well. Of course it was a shock to all of us because he doesn't fit the profile at all: he's 57, tall and slim, rather obsessive about healthy eating, exercises regularly, etc. He's been trying to stay away from meds all his life, but now he's accepted that he needs them to reduce his odds of having another event.

While DH's heart attack has been very distressing to me, I can't help noticing some feeling of relief at having the expectation of sex taken off the table for a while. Even if we only have sex once a month on average, I'm always aware of the "duty" to have it, which weighs on me every night that we don't (even though DH has NOT EVEN ONCE complained about our sex life). I hope HLs don't jump on me for saying this, but having a break from this sense of duty is psychologically freeing.

Freelance

p.s. I found it a little amusing that the American Heart Association guidelines for the management of myocardial infarction state that it may be OK to resume sex WITH YOUR REGULAR PARTNER after 2-4 weeks. Sex with a new partner might get your heart rate up too high, so it's not permitted! The guidelines seem to accept the politically incorrect reality that sex with a new partner is more sexually exciting. Yes, I know there are exceptions, but still.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Thu, 05-20-2010 - 6:38am
...goodness...I am glad that's he's 'ok'...hopefully he'll feel back to 'his normal self' soon, even if it does mean he'll go back to wanting sex...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Thu, 05-20-2010 - 6:59am

Gosh, hope the meds are effective - I guess the management of that stuff has got pretty good, even though it makes mealtimes like a drugfest.


I wondered about the level of constant awareness of the "duty", and the awful drumbeat of the sheer regularity of the "requirement".

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Thu, 05-20-2010 - 7:40am

PS, according to the GSS survey, for a married woman between 55-59, sexual frequency at a level of once a month or less applies to over 40% of the population.


So I wouldn't feel so much obligation or duty, it

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Thu, 05-20-2010 - 10:22am
I can understand you enjoying the relief.

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Thu, 05-20-2010 - 10:39am
Wow, so sorry to read this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Thu, 05-20-2010 - 10:51am

I'm glad to hear he's okay. I'd noticed an absence of FLM lately. I understand about feeling relieved. When DH had a 'girlfriend' visit I was relieved because I believed that I would be "off the hook" for at least the weekend. Imagine my surprise and disappointment when he wanted to have sex with me anyway!

At any rate, glad he's okay, and I know that the two of you will have the situation well in hand to ensure the least chance of it happening again.

Take care of yourselves (both of you) with my best wishes

roo and snowy siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Thu, 05-20-2010 - 12:36pm

<<.hopefully he'll feel back to 'his normal self' soon, even if it does mean he'll go back to wanting sex...>>

I'll be honest, Z: this type of "innocent dig" is exactly why you've rubbed some people the wrong way on this board.

F.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Thu, 05-20-2010 - 4:29pm
...that's not a dig...I do hope that he is feeling back 100%...as I am sure that you do...even if his sexual appetite returns...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Sat, 05-22-2010 - 11:17am

I'm glad to hear he's recovering well and the damage was minimal.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Sun, 05-23-2010 - 9:14am

<>

I thought I made it clear that I didn't appreciate your comment the first time, and then you go ahead and do it again. That's why I'll be reactivating my Ignore function.

Freelance

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