Uneven Sex Drives Due To Extreme Stress

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2004
Uneven Sex Drives Due To Extreme Stress
8
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 5:53am

My boyfriend and I have had a rocky relationship. We broke up again recently, but when my parents kicked me out with no notice, he agreed to let me live with him as long as I came back to the relationship. So, I'm trying to come back to the relationship. I told him I've been too stressed out to do anything right now. I'm 36 and my parents took away my car and my place where I'd been living all my life. He's been whining about sex and passion, but to me it feels like pressure, extreme pressure. I'm supposed to move 4 big pieces of furniture in tomorrow and I'm thinking of backing out and finding some alternative.

HELP PLEASE!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 7:34am

Is it really uneven sex drives or because you have no desire due to being in a relationship you don't want to be in ?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 9:07am

If there is an alternative, you need to take that alternative. Explain to him that you don't want to be with him because you feel like you HAVE to. If you two are a good match, you will do much better being together because you WANT to be with each other.

Seriously, he knows you have your back against the wall and need a place to go, and he manipulating you about the relationship instead of helping you. Is this the kind of selfish jerk you want to be with? Do you want him to turn every problem you ever have or every weakness about you into a tool for him to get what he wants? I didn't think so.

Find a friend, check out homeless resources in your community, approach a family member, something!!! Just get away from this guy!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 10:22am

Find an alternative.


He is not your friend and he is not doing you a favor if there are strings attached.

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2004
Thu, 08-12-2010 - 11:57am
To answer your question. I was living with my parents in a city outside of Atlantic City, NJ. There wasn't anything to do there any my parents, who kicked me out, wanted to put me in an apartment somewhere near them where I would be all by myself. Bus service is not very good in New Jersey either. My ex was willing to take me in. This was such a traumatic episode for me that I felt I would do better with his support. You're right, it isn't uneven sex drives. I just totally don't want him that way. I'm working on finding a roomate, but first I have to find a job here in Philadelphia. No one will room with me if I don't have a job. I'm also hoping a close female friend of mine will want to move out from her dad's trailer and I could move in with her. I know this isn't the most honest of situations, but it's the only option I could cope with. I'm going to make it right as soon as humanly possible.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 10:08am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2009
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 11:54am

...my parents, who kicked me out, wanted to put me in an apartment somewhere near them where I would be all by myself.


Have you ever lived all by yourself? A lot of people really enjoy it. Were your parents going to pay for it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2004
Sat, 08-14-2010 - 11:38pm
At first, I thought having his support would help me. I'm not so sure anymore.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2004
Sat, 08-14-2010 - 11:42pm
Maybe this is my first lesson in moving out of my parents house. I'm going to work towards extricating myself from this situation. I don't want to manipulate anyone.