Was better for a little while now reverting back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2011
Was better for a little while now reverting back.
Thu, 04-12-2012 - 2:05pm

The past few months have been better with my wife (LL), she initiated a few times, and was more passionate.

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Thu, 04-12-2012 - 5:37pm
Very typical episode in the life of many LL couples. Does not make it hurt any ledss while it is happening.

We need Freelance to pop in with the rubber band theory of ML.

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2012
Fri, 04-13-2012 - 1:01am
Freelance rubber band theory....yes I remember it well...

The LL stretches themselves to accomodate the HL until they "snap back" to their true libido. The HL looks at the period of time that the LL did give more sex as proof that they can indeed give the amount of sex the HL craves. Which exacerbates the ML and further entrenches both parties. When it reaches this point, nothing else but counseling can help.

(disclaimer : this is just the abbreviated version of freelances theory- and I think that she does a much better job of explaining it than I just did, lol)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Fri, 04-13-2012 - 1:25am
I think if she really doesn't have much interest in sex then she was just doing it more to accomodate you. LL will often try to change themselves to please their spouse, but if they really don't have much or any interest in sex it just won't last and they will soon revert back to their LL selves. But really in a marriage this could be applied to other things besides sex. If you are doing things your really not into just to please your spouse, you will almost always revert back to your true self. And unfortunately it sounds like she's really not much into sex, so you either have to live with that as it is or if you can't then you may have to decide you can't live in a sexless marriage and split up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Fri, 04-13-2012 - 4:58am

Before you all get fatalistic with the rubber-band effect (which of course is real) - can I suggest that it doesn't have to be this way, dependent on the meaning that comes with the change.

The reason that the rubber-band happens is that there are not enough connections to core values and benefit for the LL person, to overcome the hurdles.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Fri, 04-13-2012 - 11:21am

I'm glad you pointed that out, Mol.