What do you think about when having sex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2009
What do you think about when having sex?
126
Sat, 10-29-2011 - 6:31am

What do you think about when having sex?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
That's an interesting question. I wish I could fantasize while having sex, but for me, the movements and sounds and smells of sex make fantasy impossible. I'm only able to fantasize when I'm lying down by myself. During sex, I sometimes think "I wish it were over," sometimes "this is mildly pleasant," sometimes "keep focusing, an orgasm is around the corner" and most of the time I just think about any of the random things that pop into my head.

Freelance
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Sat, 10-29-2011 - 10:29am
I get into the moment completely and totally, focusing on the sensations and on my partner's reactions. Everything else fades away as I try to enjoy the ride as long as possible given whatever constraints are at hand.

It's very easy for me to do that. It is much harder for my DW to relax and go with the flow, though she is getting better and better at it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Sat, 10-29-2011 - 11:33am

I have fantasized about other women during sex. It began when the arousal I felt during sex with w was no longer strong enough to bring me to orgasm. I felt inadequate, broken and terrified that my poor sexual performance

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2011

All the chores I could be doing. Or sleep I could be sleeping.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005

I fantasize that my LL DW has fantasies...while that might seem flippant it is true.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
At our absolute lowest point I spent the time trying to calculate how times more I would have to have sex before either my H or I died. I then entered a long distance affair which lasted six years and made me feel desirable and alive again, and made it easier to have sex. Total escapism which caused tremendous harm to our relationship. Since ending my affair, I have been trying hard to focus on feelings of mindfulness, appreciation, and love for my H during sex and it does seem to be helping.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
PS Tranquility, I don't think you need to worry. When the time comes and you find the right man, I am sure you will find yourself fully present and enjoying the moment. One of my best friends recently divorced from her LL H after twenty years of M and I have rarely seen someone smiling as much as she does now that she is in a more compatible relationship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2004

Nope, no fantasizing here. It's all in the moment for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2009
Sun, 10-30-2011 - 11:00am
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2009
Sun, 10-30-2011 - 11:22am

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