Who is usually happer when ML leads t...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2010
Who is usually happer when ML leads t...
Sun, 05-02-2010 - 9:50pm

Who is usually happer when ML leads to divorce?

  • High libido partner
  • Low libido partner
  • No difference?

You will be able to change your vote.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2010
Sun, 05-02-2010 - 9:54pm

First, that subject should say "happier".

Then I wanted to explain. I'd guess that the HL partner is happier after a divorce as he or she is now free to explore what he/she has been missing. Whereas the LL partner was probably getting much if not everything he/she needed out of the marriage to begin with, they are losing much more and not gaining much (though I recognize ML isn't usually the only factor that leads to splits).

I was just curious as to what people thought. Or if ML has led to a split in your life, do you think you were happier than your ex after the split? And were you the HL or LL?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2006
Sun, 05-02-2010 - 11:08pm

I voted HL because I find myself in that position.

Having said that, I believe who ends up happier is a consequence of the behavior of both parties. I know some LL's here that would be ENDLESSLY relieved should they be divorced.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Mon, 05-03-2010 - 5:56am
...I voted "no difference" as I don't think anyone can answer this except from a personal stand point IF they have divorced and had ample time to rebuild their lives...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Mon, 05-03-2010 - 8:26am

i voted no difference, although it probably should have said "depends"

I think the happier person would be the one who initiated the split

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Mon, 05-03-2010 - 11:14am

You will not get a good representation from your poll on this board. For the most part unhappy people post here, and it's mostly HLs, so you will get a skew towards relieved HLs. I represent a LL who would probably be relieved, while also sad. I love my DH, I won't leave him. If he chose to end the relationship, I wouldn't put up much of a fight.

I don't know if there's any fight left in me, about much of anything, if you want to know the truth.

roo and snowy siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Tue, 05-04-2010 - 1:58am

I voted for low libido, but I can only speak for myself.

In my case, I was the low libido and I initiated the divorce. After I left, the libido sprung back with gusto and shortly after, I met my now hubby. My ex OTOH, was totally miserable about me leaving and very much struggled to get past it.