Why?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2010
Why?!
5
Thu, 07-15-2010 - 6:23am
I am coming here because I am at a loss for what to do. To start this off, my husband and I have been married for close to 3 years now. Him, 22 and myself, 21. While we were dating our sex life was AMAZING! Not just the frequency (atleast once a day), but for me...it was the best sex I have ever had. It was always passionate, never dull. But once we got married, it all changed. We did argue a lot, so I can now understand why sex was put on the back burner. I never lost interest, it has always been him.


After coming to a "good standing" in our relationship, our sex life still has yet to change. I have never felt self conscience about myself until this all started. Even though I feel low about myself, my drive for a constant need of sex has never went away. I feel as though I have to beg my husband for sex! I hate it, I feel pathetic. I've gotten to the point where I ask him if we can have sex and he always puts up some sort of a fight. Whether it be a flat out no, ignores me, or tells me he just wants to cuddle. He says all I think about is sex. Which I do want sex often, almost everyday. Though I do not feel as if that is out of the norm with my age. I've had quite a few partners before my husband and vice versa, but what I "get" from sex with him is more than just sex. I guess you could say sex is a way that I express my love to him. It is something that can not be duplicated or shared with anyone else. Now I'm not saying there aren't other ways to express love because we/ I do show it in other ways.


I've asked him if he is tired of the same old sex with the same person, would he like variety? He says no. I ask him if he just isn't attracted to me anymore, no. I ask him if there is something he'd like to change within our sex life, no. He isn't on any medications. I do not believe he is cheating on me even though he is home on a come and go basis due to his job. He says that it isn't me, it is him. But I can't help, but to feel that IT IS ME. I don't know what about me, but I just feel as though it is.


We have had a child, but please keep in mind that the problem started way before my pregnancy and the birth of our child. My body has slightly changed, he says he still thinks I am beautiful. But I do not feel beautiful, I feel like crap. I am at my wits end! I feel like this is ruining our marriage.

Please if you have any advice, I would greatly appreciate it.


TIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
In reply to: frugalmama007
Thu, 07-15-2010 - 7:59am

It might be you got married too young and he's

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2010
In reply to: frugalmama007
Thu, 07-15-2010 - 8:20am

I know that the odds are against us statistically speaking, but I/we have pushed through this far and I am not willing to give up without

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2010
In reply to: frugalmama007
Thu, 07-15-2010 - 8:38am

I would just like to add that we are having sex...maybe 3 times a month. We have gone as long as 8 weeks without sex.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
In reply to: frugalmama007
Thu, 07-15-2010 - 6:47pm

" While we were dating our sex life was AMAZING! Not just the frequency (atleast once a day), but for me...it was the best sex I have ever had. It was always passionate, never dull. But once we got married, it all changed. We did argue a lot, so I can now understand why sex was put on the back burner. I never lost interest, it has always been him.


After coming to a "good standing" in our relationship, our sex life still has yet to change. "


All I can say is his view of you as a sexual partner has changed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
In reply to: frugalmama007
Fri, 07-16-2010 - 7:51am

"I would just like to add that we are having sex...maybe 3 times a month. We have gone as long as 8 weeks without sex."


I just thought of some more information to give you.