Why do some LLs do nothing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2010
Why do some LLs do nothing?
11
Mon, 11-22-2010 - 11:56am

DW knows my feelings and needs yet she appears to do nothing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Mon, 11-22-2010 - 12:29pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Mon, 11-22-2010 - 4:36pm
jedclampett wrote:

DW knows my feelings and needs yet she appears to do nothing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Tue, 11-23-2010 - 5:56am

A couple of quick comments till we know some more:

Congratulations that you are being the best husband you can be, being true to yourself, and showing generosity of spirit is a great place to start.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2009
Tue, 11-23-2010 - 6:02am
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Tue, 11-23-2010 - 8:06am

...I am of the opinion that she is doing something...nothing is something...what are you hoping to accomplish with your flowers, notes, and actions of love?...it those are aimed at more sex, you're screwing up...if those are aimed at increasing her libido, you're screwing up....if you continue to not ask for what you need/want, she will continue to give you what you ask for...be specific...tell her that there is a minimal number of times that you would like to have sex with her and that you want her to be enthusiastic about participating in your sexual satisfaction even if that means she does not seek sexual satisfaction at the same time...tell her that you want a loving partner who aids you in having a great orgasm while enjoying being close to her and having her understand that being close physically with her and having a great orgasm bonds you to her...then tell her to just name any activity that aids her in feeling bonded to you and enthusiastically participate in that activity...but, please don't live your life preforming acts that are aimed at increasing her libido and don't expect her to feel bonded to you in ways that you desire...you be you and ask for what you want, then let her be her and ask for what she wants and give it to her...if it's "no sex" then you'll have decisions to make...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2010
Tue, 11-23-2010 - 8:49am

After last night I don't know what to freaking think anymore.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Tue, 11-23-2010 - 8:54am

...it may be...but, before you do that (if you love her and want a life with her) tell her what you want, ask what she wants, and then make a schedule and ask her to stick to it...then, you stick to it...please don't give her what you want, ask and give what she wants....if, after a set time that you find comfortable for measuring she hasn't produced what you want regardless of producing what she wants...you'll know that you've given it your "all"...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Tue, 11-23-2010 - 8:59am
Jed,

What happened last night? Before you swallow that big ole bitter pill, let some of us toss it around, maybe we can lighten your load.

You've been through a lot already, and you feel like you've done your best, but it might be time to "work smarter, not harder"
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Tue, 11-23-2010 - 9:11am
tranquility_goddess wrote:

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2010
Tue, 11-23-2010 - 9:23am

Oh, it

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