Does sex have to be naughty to be fun?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Does sex have to be naughty to be fun?
20
Wed, 07-13-2011 - 10:49am

Does sex have to be naughty to be fun?

Does sex have to be taboo-breaking to be hot? And now that just about every taboo has been broken, have people under 40 lost interest?

In essay by Erica Jong in the Sunday New York Times, "Is Sex Passé?", the “Fear of Flying” author frets, "…everywhere there are signs that sex has lost its frisson of freedom. Is sex less piquant when it is not forbidden? Sex itself may not be dead, but it seems sexual passion is on life support."

The essay’s churned up plenty of backlash to her sex backlash theory, with Jezebel writer Erin Gloria Ryan accusing Jong of focusing on

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2008
Wed, 07-13-2011 - 11:03am
Interesting article. I can't speak for other people, but vanilla sex can be just as hot as taboo sex. Sometimes it can be hotter, especially after a long stint of "non-vanilla". But that's just my take on it. ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Wed, 07-13-2011 - 11:09am

ROFL @ "non-vanilla."

But yes, ITA that a night of vanilla sex can be just as exciting.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2008
Wed, 07-13-2011 - 11:30am

LOL...well "non-vanilla" is a term I made up as a blanket reference because not everything that people try for sexual variety is over the top kinky.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Wed, 07-13-2011 - 2:14pm

I know what you mean about chemistry -- although it's not totally necessary in order to have great sex, it can make a huge difference, right?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2008
Wed, 07-13-2011 - 11:24pm

I know what you mean about chemistry -- although it's not totally necessary in order to have great sex, it can make a huge difference, right? Maybe those couples with strong chemistry don't need as much outside stimulation as those who lack it?

Just going by my own experience, chemistry isn't totally necessary for reasonably good sex, but I've never had great sex unless that chemistry was there. However, I've had chemistry develop with an individual over time....usually someone I began as platonic friends with. The chemistry between Kilroy and I has always been off the charts, even when we were kids, but that chemistry is what inspires both of us sexually with each other and it makes role-playing and trying new things in general 10.5 on the richter scale...the earth REALLY moves. So even if we don't need the outside stimulation as much, we can't help but want to explore the possibilities. ;)

And isn't the cat picture funny?! It's not my cat -- I found the picture online and couldn't resist!

OMG the look on the cat's face is epic! LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Thu, 07-14-2011 - 8:58am

Funny...I'm having this same conversation with Kilroy on the Sexual Fantasies board.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2008
Thu, 07-14-2011 - 10:13am
Seriously? LMAO...yeah he hangs out over there more than over here. That's a fun board too. I turned him on to iVillage last Thanksgiving when he was goofing around on my computer. We were just friends then though. We try to give each other space not read each other's posts but sometimes we can't help it. ;) One of the gals asked me what his best side was and he got curious and had to go look at what I said lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Thu, 07-14-2011 - 10:23am

LOL!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2008
Thu, 07-14-2011 - 2:15pm

Well it's turned out to be interesting at times. It actually started out last Thanksgiving when he was up here with my family. He saw iVillage on my bookmarks and asked about it. We were good friends and I knew he was having issues when it came to relationships. It had been about 5 years since he'd had a girlfriend, which made no sense since he's the most delicious eye-candy I've ever seen and an absolute sweetheart of a man. I've known him for 38 years and the man still makes me about faint when I look at him. ;) And it's not like he didn't have women interested. He seemed really lonely though. He asked if it was okay to check out iVillage and I told him yeah, guys post here all the time. He quit posting for awhile but a couple of months ago I encouraged him to come back to the boards because he was having issues with repression in expressing fantasies. We were only doing what I wanted because he was afraid that I'd think he was a freak if he said what was in his head (Seriously? After some of the stuff I asked him to do? ROFLMAO). The boards have been great for him. I quit lurking etc because I wanted to give him space but he lured me back because he found the sexual fantasies board and wanted me to check it out.

We have a long distance relationship at the moment

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2004
Fri, 07-29-2011 - 7:25am

"I once worked in a Baskin-Robbins ice cream store. I could eat as much ice cream as I wanted. After the second day, I was pretty bored with ice cream."

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