Girl Talk: I Want My Boyfriend To Fantasize About Other Women

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2002
Girl Talk: I Want My Boyfriend To Fantasize About Other Women
42
Tue, 07-05-2011 - 11:07am

Interesting perspective. Enjoy the reading

Dirty

The Frisky

Rachel Kramer Bussel

Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. Benjamin Franklin

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007

Ok, before I finish, I read that other article:

I read Eliza Jules’ essay

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007

But we’ve become so locked into a wildly out-of-control devotion to monogamy that it has been extended beyond the physical; now women are demanding mental monogamy too.

Ew

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2009
Most of the women I know see sexuality the same way......But there are the quite outspoken outliers that seem to think sex is only OK if done their approved way. Mrs. Grundy's of the world unite seems to be the rallying cry.....working hard to force that genie back into the bottle. < from the people that brought you Prohibition >
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2009
I read that article also.....frightening level of entitlement oozing and dripping out of it.......Such ownership issues.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007

I’ve tried to figure out why it bothers me, and I think I have come to the conclusion that it’s a mixture of hurt feelings (why don’t you just come out here and have sex with me?) and pure intrigue (what goes on in there? How does he do it? Is he doing some moves I should know about? And WHO is he thinking about because it sure as HELL better be me).

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007

"I get where that desire comes from; we all want to be respected and lusted after, and don’t want to feel threatened by, say, some “perfect”-looking model or actress or porn star, or someone closer to home."

Here's the really sad thing about even this statement: We may assume that the model or actress or porn star our mate is looking at is "perfect"-looking. But to them, we may look better. We have no idea what our mate finds "perfect".

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006

"Now, I probably differ from a lot of women on this point, but I actually like, to a point, hearing about who someone I’m dating finds attractive, kind of like the celebrity sex list; but even if they aren’t celebrities, I want to hear about it. I’m not necessarily talking about who they’d literally sleep with if we broke up, but who, in general, they find hot."

I'll go a step further... I want my woman to be so hungry for sexual interaction that she's constantly tempted and on the verge of cheating.

I know... I'm just asking for trouble :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2010

Interesting articles Dirty and Tulips :)

We may assume that the model or actress or porn star our mate is looking at is "perfect"-looking. But to them, we may look better. We have no idea what our mate finds "perfect". We may be focusing on characteristics they haven't even noticed or just plain don't like. I may be enjoying Cameron Diaz's legs but lamenting her less-than-ideal hair and boobs while my significant other is wishing she had CD's hair and boobs and ignoring her legs.

And our reflection is always distorted when we look in the mirror.

you took the words right out of my mouth and I couldn't have said it better myself! and it isn't just women that can fall into that kind of thinking. Over the weekend my gf came up to spend the 4th with me (and her family) and saturday when we were buying fireworks there was this young good looking guy scoping out my gf and by "young" I mean early thirties at the most.

Photobucket "If we cannot
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007

Thank you, but they both belong to Dirty

The writer mentioned reading another theory in that other article.

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2009
I understand the desire to be with someone that has a similar High libido...if for no other reason than they understand what I go though to keep it in check....it's easy not to sin if there is never any temptation......much harder is to say no to easy fun....especially the kind one would never get caught for......that proves character.

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