interesting take on porn......will be despised by some

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Registered: 03-27-2009
interesting take on porn......will be despised by some
5
Fri, 08-05-2011 - 10:54am
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007

Very much YES

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2009
Very succinct viewpoint......Hard to argue with if you don't feel your own feelings / viewpoint automatically trumps that of your partners. Some of the anti-erotica viewpoints always seem to miss the "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" aspects of personal freedom....It comes across as "Only I get a say in X as it offends me......never as a quid pro quo... ie.. I need you to give up X, in exchange I'll willingly give up Y for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2010
Interesting article to say the least. My last gf before Stygia was of the mindset that she had to know everything that went through my head even if it made her mad. Or rather, especially if it would make her mad. She never figured out that just because she was asking me what I was thinking didn't mean I had to tell her. Stygia and I both have the same philosophy. Neither of us want to be mind readers and we both agree that some things are just private and should stay that way. We both have our solo time out of necessity at the moment and prefer couple time, but we're both also realistic about how it will be once we're married. Neither of us expects the other to always be able to drop what we're doing to cater to the other person, so there will likely be instances where a little self-love will be necessary. ;)
IMHO obsessing over what one's partner is thinking is self-abuse and I'm going to have to quote Stygia on policing one's partner: "I've got better things to do, (members of the opposite sex) to check out and a life to live." And personally, I'm not threatened by her looking at porn more than I do. It's real guys that worry me, not some image on a screen. well exept this one actor. I don't know why he makes me jealous but he just does lol
Photobucket "If we cannot
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2009
Kilroy "IMHO obsessing over what one's partner is thinking is self-abuse and I'm going to have to quote Stygia on policing one's partner: "I've got better things to do"

Wonderfully adult viewpoints.
When I see someone absolutely needing to control a partner....I always wonder if they get the idea that the more you demand obedience......the less it looks like you see them as an equal......and the more you see them a animal to be boxed in and controlled . Worse it tends to spread to other areas of the relationship......a cancer that eat all the joy and love, leaving just an empty shell.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2010
One big thing we hear about all the time is unconditional love. it's all over the media on self-help segments. I don't buy into that kind of thinking when it comes to relationships. I don't care how tolerant stygia is, I know that there are things I could do that could cause her to not love me anymore. and that's what I think an over-controlling partner eventually does. they kill the love and respect in their relationship. the irony is that usually they're so controlling because their afraid of losing the other person.
Photobucket "If we cannot