NYT Article: Men and porn vs. real life sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2004
NYT Article: Men and porn vs. real life sex
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Thu, 04-21-2011 - 11:55pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2009
Fri, 04-22-2011 - 10:08am
Peaches"I also have acted more pornstarish because that's clearly what guys like and i wanted to be sure I was making my guy happy"

Or maybe a bit less Victorian? Those old good girl / Bad Girl dichotomies have damage generations of women....along with their mates. Maybe it's time to throw off those chains of oppression that have wrapped many in a cocoon of guilt and shame?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2004
Fri, 04-22-2011 - 12:21pm

You can disagree with my stance on porn but you don't get to tell me what my personal experiences have been.

In my personal experience with men, they don't celebrate women's individual sexuality. They celebrate a narrowly defined view of women through their fantasy of porn. So men encourage women to act, dress and be more like what they like in porn. It has nothing to do with with being kinder or fairer to women. It

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2009
Fri, 04-22-2011 - 1:54pm
Wasn't aiming to be mean...nor was I aiming at you. Guys don't like the Victorian style sex practices.. they are limiting and restrictive to the true expression of female sexuality.... Guys want women to enjoy sex .... we eat up your expressions of enjoyment about sex.

Victorian morals are all about guilt and shame......It's ingrained into little girls that sex is naughty/dirty.....When it should be joyful and emotionally freeing......that only the "bad" girls like sex....get loud....state clearly what they'ed like.....openly discuss sex with a partner. ..heck even play teacher once in a while.....

It's a rotten shame that into the 21st century the Mrs. Grundy's are still allowed to judge others so harshly.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2004
Fri, 04-22-2011 - 2:46pm

Who is a Mrs. Grundy Trey? Is there one in the article? How does that name calling fit into a reasonable discussion?

You've used that name before and you've used it toward me in the past. So are you refering to me as Mrs. Grundy? Are you now caling me that name because you didn't like me sharing my personal experiences? I'm a Mrs. Grundy because in my dating experience and relationship experience with men I have seen a clear and distinct attiude in men who are more interested in porno sex then real, fun loving mutual sex? Please tell us who this "Mrs.Grundy" is. Because I don't see any "Mrs.Grundys". I see adults on a message board who disagree and share their point of view. I see women in the article that are going through hard experiences with men that they love that have been changed by the porn they view. I personally think you use this term insidiously to refer to me in a seeky and mean spirited attack.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2009
Fri, 04-22-2011 - 4:54pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Fri, 04-22-2011 - 7:16pm

Great article, Peaches.

I did get a laugh out of your conclusion: "Women are always the losers..." The article clearly discussed the negative consequences to men of porn use. In fact, it spent most of its words discussing that aspect of porn. That reminded me of the joke about God announcing to all the major newspapers that the world would end in

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2004
Fri, 04-22-2011 - 11:47pm
Mrs.Grundy as a caricature of a sub-set of Victorian standard bearing persons that feel it's "Right and Proper" to shame and disparage all those that refuse to hold to their personal moral standard.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2004
Fri, 04-22-2011 - 11:50pm

Great article, Peaches.

I did get a laugh out of your conclusion: "Women are always the losers..." The article clearly discussed the negative consequences to men of porn use. In fact, it spent most of its words discussing that aspect of porn. That reminded me of the joke about God announcing to all the major newspapers that the world would end in

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Sat, 04-23-2011 - 12:35am
peaches31581 wrote:

I don't get the NYT headline though..I'm trying to figure out the joke.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2009
Sat, 04-23-2011 - 5:47am

Peaches"

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