One of the prices of "princess culture"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2009
One of the prices of "princess culture"
50
Thu, 06-16-2011 - 6:52am

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/did-you-marry-the-wrong-guy-1?gt1=32092

For starters, blame Cinderella. "Women are raised with an unrealistic impression of what love is supposed to look like," says Gauvain. "Girls read fairy tales where the woman gets saved by the prince, and when they're older, the same message is enforced through romantic comedies where love always prevails, despite impossible scenarios. So women learn that love can always work, even when it's unhealthy."

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Thu, 06-16-2011 - 9:41pm

These are good quotes.

I live in a specific subculture that has much in common with what is described in this article. In my world, girls are trained to prepare themselves for their wedding day, but are rarely trained to prepare themselves for the rest of life. They are rarely taught that creating a successful marriage and family life is hard work and that it requires mutual self-sacrifice and negotiated compromise. Boys in my subculture are taught

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2009
Thu, 06-16-2011 - 10:11pm
Even worse are those that feel so entitled they straddle Both the traditional and modern culture...expecting to partake of the best of both for their entire lives....and then wondering why no man they'd find acceptable wants to firmly grasp the dirty end of the thorn covered stick they offer. Yet you'll hear how bitter they are over their lack of prospects and how low the quality of modern men has fallen.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2004
Mon, 06-27-2011 - 10:01am

If you are a person that believes that "princess culture" is harmful for girls, then you would also equally have to be a person that equally believes that "porn culture" (and we so have one), is harmful for girls and boys as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2009
Mon, 06-27-2011 - 11:28am
Porn is neither meant nor marketed for children.....So why is that an issue? No one here has said it good for children.

Princess culture is aimed and marketed to girls at the most vulnerable ages......very different.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2004
Mon, 06-27-2011 - 3:34pm

It doesn't need to be marketed to children. Most men that talk about the first time they saw porn, they talk about how they saw it in their early teens. Infact, on average, the average boy starts viewing porn at aged 11. That is so many formative years he is spending with something that is harmful to his perception and expectations of sex and women. This is something parents don't want to acknowledge. This is something men don't want to acknowledge. That their sons are looking at porn and that their daughters will pay the price for years of unrealstic expectations placed on them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2009
Mon, 06-27-2011 - 4:09pm

Sorry but that's just not true, no one is marketing porn to 3 year olds. No boy is fed the steady diet of erotica equal to what gets pushed onto girls get in "Princess culture". I see the better part of the issues you bring up about beauty as stemming from early training that a girl is only as good as she is beautiful. Part and parcel of princess culture..... erotica may exacerbate those effects in you.......but the underlying triggers were laid down earlier........and shouldn't be blamed on men's natural enjoyment of femininity. Otherwise erotica would make all women feel inadequate.....and as we've seen here it clearly does not.

If you want to limit young boys interest in erotica.....push for better sex ed, better modeling of real women in all media, remove the mystery that arises in early puberty about what the other sex truly looks like. Because pre-internet-porn boys were spanking it to the sears lingerie ads. Before that it was to any graphic portrayal of women.... back to neolithic fetish stone carvings.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2009
Mon, 06-27-2011 - 4:17pm

Men have fewer unrealistic expectations of women then women have of men. They may want a "10" but they don't expect a "10"...... Many women feel very entitled to having their "prince"....yet when he shows he has feet of clay like all others....she starts shopping for an upgrade.

Current society boxes men in much more than women. A smaller percentage of males date and mate then females do.....it's always been that way....and most likely it will remain that way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2009
Mon, 06-27-2011 - 4:31pm

Peaches "So please speak up against princess culture! But don't be hypocritical enough to then not speak up against porn culture"

Funny, especially as you've defended "princess culture" as harmless fun.
Once again I'll say I do not believe young boys or girls should use/imbibe/view..Erotica, porn, booze, licit drugs, extreme violence, or any other detrimental items....

Effect of princess culture.....when my oldest was in middle school 6th grade..A female reading teacher gave her a novel to read as there were few in the reading lab that matched her capability....( at that time she was a 1000 WPM reader) 1000+ page romance novel that the teacher found harmless....Both my wife and I had a fit......"Debbie does Dallas" would have been cleaner material....It went all the way to the principal to correct the teacher...It was OK in the teacher's eyes..."it had no pictures"

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2004
Tue, 06-28-2011 - 9:35pm

Sorry but that's just not true, no one is marketing porn to 3 year olds.

Yeah true but it's not even a statement I made so I have no idea why you are arguing it. It however doesn't dismiss the fact that boys start their relationship with porn very early. Certainly not 3 years old but it's been averaged 11 and is probably now something like 9 years old with how much availibility there is to porn out there.

No boy is fed the steady diet of erotica equal to what gets pushed onto girls get in "Princess culture".

Certainly not a 3 years of age. But 9-11 when boys start creeping into puberty and they discover porn, they certainly start getting a daily message about wome nand sex as they mature in their sexuality.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2004
Tue, 06-28-2011 - 9:40pm

Funny, especially as you've defended "princess culture" as harmless fun.

I did? Where?

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