Support

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2002
Support
13
Wed, 10-20-2010 - 8:42pm

So since this is the "sharing support" section. What exactly constitutes support? I have my answers but am curious as to what others think. How do we interject on what we may feel is bad advise, without getting into a debate? One last question, this board is listed in the Relationship Problems section. Doesn't that automatically conger up Porn as a problem. Since we have a porn works for us section shouldn't we be part of the sex and sexuality?

Just some food for thought to get the posting going again.

Dirty

Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. Benjamin Franklin

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Wed, 10-20-2010 - 10:17pm

I think support can constitute expressing a different perspective than the poster has. I feel that support can mean saying "I empathize with what you are feeling and can understand why you are frustrated, but have you considered x,y, and z?"

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Thu, 10-21-2010 - 11:19am
dirtymiddleagedman wrote:

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Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2008
Thu, 10-21-2010 - 12:30pm
Well, if you think about it, if someone is having issues with porn in their relationship, the place they will look is in "relationship problems". Makes sense to me, but then I'm a bit warped. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2002
Thu, 10-21-2010 - 12:40pm

Agreed,

But what if a person is just kinky like me and is looking to find out how others use porn in their relationship?

Dirty

Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. Benjamin Franklin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2002
Thu, 10-21-2010 - 12:42pm

Oh and BTW can some one please alphabetize the boards listing? Its like there is no

Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. Benjamin Franklin
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2008
Thu, 10-21-2010 - 12:48pm
That's why I think it's unfortunate that they don't list it in more than one section. I also think that there's more complete support if there is more than one point of view, and if it's only in one section, it's might go in the direction of the other board where everyone sits around and complains, but no one knows how to do anything else. We need the open-minded point of view.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Thu, 10-21-2010 - 12:56pm
stygia wrote:
I also think that there's more complete support if there is more than one point of view, and if it's only in one section, it's might go in the direction of the other board where everyone sits around and complains, but no one knows how to do anything else.

Ahhh, I think you make an excellent point here!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2008
Thu, 10-21-2010 - 1:54pm
Well, that was one of the reasons I eventually found myself "turned off" by the other board. Once I had the reassurance that I wasn't alone in my problem, I was ready to move forward and do something about it, but everyone else there seemed stuck in the rut. This board provided a diverse blend of positive viewpoints and helped me through all of my "stages" of healing. I'm finally to a point where I'm returning to my former enjoyment of erotica, even though it will have to be without my husband (he still is uncomfortable even talking about it...oh well). I'm not plagued by the crippling depression anymore, and I'm the free spirit I was before my marital ordeal. That's why I think it's so important we keep the board accessible to a variety of people, not just those who are having problems. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2009
Thu, 10-21-2010 - 4:00pm
It warms my heart to hear your doing so well. I'm sure you had to do a lot of intensive inner work to get there... It's great to hear you've managed to put much of the pain behind you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2008
Thu, 10-21-2010 - 9:25pm
Thanks Trey! It's been a long journey so far and I'm sure that I still have alot to learn. The scars, however, will be with me forever as lessons learned, but I'm okay with that. I just hope I can help others the way all of you helped me. :)

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