29 yr/old b/f still plays video games!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2006
29 yr/old b/f still plays video games!
12
Thu, 03-01-2007 - 11:32pm

Okay- my boyfriend is 29 years old. I am going to be turning 21 in 4 months. My boyfriend is a sweetie and I love him to death. I keep waiting for him to ask me the big question. Anyhow, there is one thing that annoys me and I do not understand why he still does it. He has a thing for playing video games...!!! He will sit there infront of the tv for a couple hours sometimes, playing these stupid video games on his XBOX. I mean come on,he is almost 30!!!!!!! Anyone else have this rant???

I just find these video games so lame, distructive, and useless. I dont get it. I cant understand why anyone would want to sit infront of the tv and play video games all day (not that he plays them all day, but he does play them alot, especially after work). Its like he is a little kid or something. Whats so great about these damn video games?????!!!

I try to tell him that these video games are really a waste of time but he totally like ignores me. Errrr....! lol

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2005
Thu, 03-01-2007 - 11:44pm

Hi.. I believe this will be my first post. I lurk here all the time and these people are great.. Hello everyone!!!


Ok, I am 32 and hubby is 36.. He has been playing games on the pc for a long time, many years..

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2007
Fri, 03-02-2007 - 4:30am
I think you need to try to take an interest in his video games. I know this sounds crazy but i had the same problem. Mind you my boyfriend is only 22 but since i started to take an interest in his video games he's been happier. Im not constantly telling him they are stupid and a waste of time. You dont have to take an interest in his video games, go out and buy a game that might be interesting to you and ask him to help you play it. I took an interest in one of my boyfriends video games and now every once in a while he'll ask me if i want to play with him, as opposed to him playing alone like he use to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2005
Fri, 03-02-2007 - 8:55am

Age has nothing to do with video games. My father is in his 50s and he still plays. Not often, mind you, but he does play a few times a month. I'm a gamer too and when I meet up with others, I see people of all ages: pre-teens to people in their 70s.

Whether or not his gaming is problematic depends on how it affects your relationship and his life. If he constantly turns down quality time with you, refuses to have sex, doesn't do his share of the housework, has trouble at work, spends all his money on games, etc. then it makes sense that you would be upset. Even so, unless he recognises that he has problem, there's nothing you can do but leave.

Now, if gaming is just something he does to relax in his spare time and he is able to meet his commitments, then it is unfair to judge his hobbies. I would never tolerate a boyfriend criticising my gaming and I wouldn't expect him to tolerate that kind of thing from you. Everyone has their interests and as long as it doesn't become an addiction or involve hurting others, there's nothing wrong with that. You could, as another poster suggested, try gaming with him. I got my boyfriend to start playing World of Warcraft with me and it made us become much closer. Not only did it give us something to do while we're together, it allowed us to get to know each other better. However, if gaming is something you can't stand in a relationship, then I would suggest you find a partner whose interests are closer to your own.

As for what is appealing in games, it depends on the person. In my case, it's a way to disconnect from the pressures of the real world, it's great audio, visual and tactile stimulation, it challenges my intelligence (I like games with a lot of strategy) and it gives me a harmless outlet for my "collecting" obsession (I like games that make me collect things).

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2006
Fri, 03-02-2007 - 1:18pm
Take a Chill!
I agree we (females) usually are not into gaming. But that doesn't make it a bad sport. Especially, if the gamer doesn't neglect any of his responsibilities n stuff. I think they (men) usually want to take out all their stress in some way or other. And my husband usually likes to be on top-of-the-world when he wins a race or something like that.
Yeah, instead of telling him NOT TO PLAY, i tried asking him his scores..& how well he played.. He was just so happy to talk about them..just like a 10 yr old, who won a medal in school!!
After you give him the confidence, that you don't oppose his hobby/interest..he will listen to you if you clearly tell him your needs i.e. if you want him not to play some weekend.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Fri, 03-02-2007 - 3:12pm

Part of having a healthy relationship is understanding that your partner is allowed to have their own interests. There is absolutely nothing wrong with playing games. It's not a matter of age. In fact, there's senior citizens who are playing games and it's a great thing to do to keep their minds sharp. Would you be happier if he spent the time watching the tv?

I would bet that you have habits that your boyfriend isn't into and might even consider a waste of time too. If you enjoy those habits and they're not hurting anyone though, then that isn't a problem. You have to respect his rights and he has to respect yours. I bet you would totally ignore him if he's as dismissive of things you enjoy as you are to his.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Fri, 03-02-2007 - 3:46pm

Someone suggested walking naked in the room. It doesn't help...they just ask you to move aside. It's no different to walking naked when they're watching football. ;-)

My suggestion is that you ask him to pause the game when you want to talk to him. I've found that DH can give me full attention when the game is paused....as opposed to when he's trying to play and I'm interrupting.

That aside, playing games is really no dumber than sitting infront of the internet or TV all night. My main suggestion is compromise: perhaps he could have a night or two off which he spends doing partner things with you. Playing board games or going out.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Fri, 03-02-2007 - 6:51pm
Girl my guy is 34 yrs old and he plays them too LOL

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Fri, 03-02-2007 - 9:26pm
You may have bigger problems on your hands than a video game.
According to your profile, you are due to have his baby any minute, and he hasn't proposed marriage. What is the holdup?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2006
Fri, 03-02-2007 - 10:02pm

Everyone needs to do something. That is what he does. What is the issue for you in what he is doing?

You might want to try to negotiate less time spent playing games but video games are not the end of the world. My husband is 55 and plays about an hour a day...he never gets into anything obsessively but he does fish and I don't get it. Fishing? Oh please but he LOVES it and its what he does and I just say okay. I don't get someone spending 8 hours on a beautiful spring day casting about but he says it calms him. I don't argue. If I need him to be doing something else we negotiate around his fishing. Occasionally I will say I don't want to hear about his "fishing time" when it's August and no chores have been done all summer because he's spent every weekend on the lake, BUT for the most part I try to be okay with something I so completely do not understand and then he is okay with the things I want to do that he does not understand at all.

It could be a lot worse than video games. If he's getting carried away, try to negotiate some of the time but overall try to back off a bit. telling him that they're a waste of time is a waste of your time.

Susan




"Success is building a foundation with bricks thrown by others."


GettingPastYourPast - The Blog!

Susan

"Success is building a foundation wit

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2006
Sat, 03-03-2007 - 12:14am
We all need a way to relieve stress and enjoy ourselves and it sounds like the video games may be your boyfriend's way of doing that. But I know how you feel, because I don't get into video games like that either. So when he's playing his games, it sounds like the perfect time for you to have some "me" time - doing something for yourself that you really enjoy. Maybe hanging out with girlfriends or doing things that your boyfriend might not particularly want to do.

Pages