All of our convos lead to tension. - Why does he do this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2010
All of our convos lead to tension. - Why does he do this?
5
Fri, 11-12-2010 - 11:40am
My boyfriend has communication habits that are bothering me. I find myself feeling tension and exhaustion during and after all of our conversations.

1) During conversation (whether it's about the weather, art, politics, family, dinner, anything really) when I am speaking he will cut me off mid sentence before I complete my thought.

If I say anything about it (nicely) to him, he gets mad at me as if I've offended him. He takes no reproof from anyone. And if I do what he does to him, he is offended.

2) There is another communication habit of his that is also an issue. I will bring up a topic because I'm interested and want to talk about it, and he will somehow try to bring to light my ignorance on the topic then morph the convo into something else, shut it down and have a last word. My sister also noticed that he tries to control conversations. It's really bizarre and unnecessary. I leave conversations with him feeling shut down and exhausted. He is really hard to talk with!

Can you guys give me any advice on how to deal with these habits of his? In the beginning I think I allowed myself to be cut off. When he'd but in on me, I would go quiet and listen to what he had to say. I guess I trained him that he could do that, that what he had to say was more important or something?

I'm 33 years old, and sure over my lifetime, I've been in circumstances or done it myself, where butting in on someone goes with the conversation at hand. But not EVERY conversation. Butting in loses its emphasis or meaning when its done multiple times in every single conversation. It's downright rude is what it is.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002

You have every right to point out when he is being rude.

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Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001

Welcome to the board Mar542 ~ Your name sounds familar, but I don't find any indication you've been here before....

How long have you been dating?


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009

Look at your title.

 

Community Leader
Registered: 05-14-2001

Unless this is a new behavior that's suddenly cropped up, I agree with you 100%, Cat.


~ cl-2nd_life

cl-2nd_
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007

Hi Mar542.