Am I being selfish?
Find a Conversation
|Sat, 01-30-2010 - 9:50pm|
Perhaps I can gain some insight on an issue that has been going on for the past couple of months.
I have been very close to a male coworker for the past year. He was extremely helpful with getting me through two deaths and a case of depression. I can not thank him enough for all that he has done for me; he has always been there when I needed him. I never intended for our relationship to grow, but once things became more intimate feelings came into play. He has already told me that he loves me and there is a level of comfort, understanding and enjoyment between us that we have not found with anyone else.
Over the past few months we have grown alot closer and this is the first time that I have ever been involved with someone that I feel dependent on emotionally because of all that we have gone through together. The problem is that this man has two children and baggage on top of that. He is separated from his wife and he takes on the majority of the responsibilities when it comes to the kids. At times when I am at my lowest and I need him around, he can not always be there for me due to the fact that his children may need him as well or he has promised to spend quality time with them, etc. Btw he hasnt introduced me to his children because they are at very formative ages ( 5 and 8) and they still have the concept of "mommy and daddy" in their minds.
I have become so distressed over this, because I am starting to feel that maybe I should just distance myself from him in order to become less emotionally dependent on him. At the same time I know that I will have to deal with the idea of being alone even more and dealing with hard times on my own. I feel very selfish because I get jealous of the fact that I can not "have him" especially when I need him to myself. I have not shared any of this with him because I do not want to hurt him.
Any advice would be helpful; I would like to figure out what the best way to deal with this would be.